That 70s Show Reunion Movie
by 70sfan4life
Summary: JH, ED Goodness for Christmas. Happiness for all including no epilogue and tweaking to the old ending
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Own nothing, work for nothing, this is just a labor of love

Scene 1:

Foreman Living Room

December 1980

One week before Christmas; Kitty is decorating everything. Red is watching the game on TV.

Red:Kitty, I don't understand why you're going to all this trouble for just the two of us. Eric & Donna went to be with Bob in Florida, Steven is boycotting the holiday because we've elected a Republican president and who knows what or where Laurie is… it just seems like a big waste of time

Kitty: Red, if I can't have everyone home for Christmas, I'm going to pretend that they're coming home and make everything spectacular for the first Christmas of the new decade.

Red:Have you been buttering the rum early?

Kitty:Very funny. Keep it up and you won't be buttering anything ever again (goes to answer the doorbell)

Kitty opens the door to reveal Eric, Donna & Bob (wearing a Santa hat)

SURPRISE! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Red:Oh holy hell

Kitty: Yay! My baby's home (Kitty starts jumping up and down and hugging Eric)

Bob:Ho ho ho, It's not Christmas without snow.

Red:I knew you were going to say something like that.

Eric:We thought we'd surprise you and come home for Christmas. (solemnly) Dad, come on, are you surprised. (ends with a smirk, Kitty is still hanging on to him & jumping)

Red:Actually son, glad to have you back for the holidays. Makes your mother happy. (gives Eric a hug, Kitty goes to hug Donna) More people gives her a excuse to make a bigger batch of egg nog

Donna:It wouldn't be Christmas without Mrs. Foreman's egg nog. Maybe this year we can remember which came first, the egg or the nog….(cringing) Fine, I've been in a car with my Dad for 18 hours…what'd you expect.

Everyone goes to the kitchen.

Bob:Oh sweetie, you're just a chip off the old Bob.

Eric & Red:MOM! GET THE EGG NOG! MAKE MINE A DOUBLE!

OPENING CREDITS

Scene 2

Foreman kitchen

Kitty, Eric, Hyde & Red are seated around the table

Hyde:So, home for the holidays. How'd this come about? Last time we talked you guys were going to work on the Florida version of Meli Kalikimaka.

Eric:I know, Donna's been kinda moody ever since John Lennon….(his voice trails off). She was on the air at school and had to announce the shooting and his death. She tried not to sound all broken up about it while she was on the air, but after….she just came home & cried. It was like losing a member of the family.

Hyde:Tell me about it. I've had to scrape candle wax off the sidewalk outside the store as many times as ice or snow, we've had so many candlelight vigils since then. If I didn't know better, I'd swear the government took him out because of Reagan.

Red:Just because you two potheads lost your peace loving ringleader doesn't give you an excuse to ridicule the new administration. You (points at Hyde) You can't complain because you didn't vote.

Hyde:I voted

Red:You did?

Eric:You did?

Kitty:It's Christmas time Red, leave the politics out of it. Now who wants to get to work on our festive outdoor nativity scene with...

Red:In a minute Kitty, I want to hear who Steven voted for.

Eric:So would I? Please be Jimmy Carter…Please be Jimmy Carter

Hyde:Well, I'll tell you. (pause) I voted for the candidate who best fit my conspiracy minded ideals.

Red:Who'd that be then….Jack Frost?

Kelso stumbles through the back door, carrying LOTS of luggage

Kelso: Mrs. Foreman, Jack Frost is nipping at my nose & my nads. I need a place to stay for Christmas.

Hyde:(smiling) Yep, that'd be him.

Kitty:Michael, what….what are you doing here? Why aren't you in Chicago? Where is Betsy? Why…

Kelso:Mrs. Foreman, do you think I'd be here if I had another place to go?

Red, Eric & Hyde:YES!

Kelso:Shut up.

Kitty:Well, this must be serious, you just told Red to Shut up. What happened?

Kelso:I got fired from the Playboy Club because me & Miss April got tangled up in the tinsel at a party.

Eric:That doesn't seem to be very festive of them. You know Peace on Earth…

Hyde:Good Will & Playmates towards men.

Kelso:Yeah, I know. Well, the holiday spirit wasn't exactly with them at the time.

Eric:What time was it then?

Kelso:It was Brooke's holiday party at the library. I invited Miss April to entertain. How was I supposed to know it was a party for the old folks home. And then, you would have thought it would have cheered those old bastards up, but it didn't. One guy had a stroke, Two dudes had a heart attack and one old lady said she hadn't had that much fun since the war.

Eric:You mean an old man

Kelso:No, I meant an old lady. It was good times. Anyway, Miss April felt bad I guess, and quit the Playboy club right before the Toastmaster's annual Holiday shindig and I got fired because Miss April quit. Oh, and now Brooke's not speaking to me. Again.

Kitty:Well, I should say not. Michael, this is…it's just terrible.

Eric:I should say so.

Kitty:You can stay in Laurie's old room.

Red:Kitty!

Kitty:Red, it's Christmas time

Kelso:Thanks Mrs. Foreman, I'll put these things under the bed. They'll fit..'cause I used to when….

Kitty:Michael

KELSO LEAVES THE KITCHEN & HEADS UPSTAIRS

Hyde:Now we will have to recast your movie Foreman, without April Showers.

Eric:I know

Kitty:April Showers? They bring May Flowers!

THE BOYS LAUGH; RED IS NOT AMUSED.

Red:I'm leaving. Dumbasses.

Chapter 2 will reveal the pregnancy, the closeted friend, the father of the baby and maybe a surprise or two along the way. Comments are welcome


	2. Chapter 2

Scene Three:

Fez & Jackie's apartment

Living Room

Six days before Christmas

Jackie:So, how's school?

Donna:Well, I've been thinking about changing majors

Jackie:Ooh! Fashion merchandising. I knew you'd come around

Donna:Jackie. This is me you're talking to. Focus.

Jackie:Oh, I knew it was too much to hope for. What's it going to be, feminism in the 80s? Basket weaving for girlfriends of scrawny Star Wars freaks?

Donna:I was thinking about law.

Jackie:(seriously) really? Law. Wow. What brought this around?

Donna:well, music just doesn't do it for me anymore. There's no joy. Music is supposed to make you feel good. And after I had to be on the air when….

Jackie:I know. We all grew up a bit that day.

Donna:I figure that this is the ultimate in feminism. A female attorney. There's even talk that Reagan will appoint a woman to the Supreme Court to satisfy the ERA movement. I can do this. I want to do this. I want to help people.

Jackie:You'll be great. You're smart and someone will have to support you & Eric. Certainly won't be him. And your names already sound like a law firm so if you get married, you're covered. (Both girls laugh)

Donna:No rush. How are things with you?

Jackie:Things are great. Just great. Why wouldn't they be great? Stop talking.

Donna: Ooohh, You haven't been this worked up in years. Something's going on. What's going on?

Jackie:Ok Donna, but you have to promise me not to tell another soul or I get to redo your entire wardrobe, without argument or discussion.

Donna:This IS serious...spill it.

Jackie:I think I'm pregnant.

Donna:(Shocked) Oh My God!

Jackie:(matter of fact) Actually, I know I'm pregnant

Donna:Oh My God!

Jackie:Augghh! I'm going to be sick….. (Runs to bathroom)

Donna:Oh My God!

Jackie:(through the bathroom door) Say something else Donna

Donna:Holy Crap

Jackie:Besides that

Donna:I'm sounding more like Red every day

Jackie:Donna, focus here….

Donna:What'd Fez say?

Jackie:(mumble, mumble) I can't find the mouthwash.

Donna:What?

Jackie:(sheepishly)I haven't told him.

Donna:What! Now I'm going to be sick.

Jackie:(Opens bathroom door) Welcome home Auntie Lumberjack

Donna:(Hugs Jackie) Congratulations Momma Midget!

Scene Four

Foreman Basement

Circle Time

Hyde:The whole band is back together again

Kelso:Yeah, what band man…I hated those band geeks

Eric:(singing) I am stuck on band aids, 'cause band aids stuck on me

Fez:Yes, it is nice to have all of my friends in the same room together. Well almost all of my friends. Even some of the geeks.

Hyde:Band on the Run man, E Street Band, Allman Brothers Band

Kelso:I love band aids, but that bactine stuff they put on with it ….it is awesome lighter fluid

Eric:Rubberband Man….Man, I wish I was Rubberband Man….who could work with Spiderman!

Fez:I have not tried bactine. Is that like Laurie's Final Net for enhancing Fez's natural manly hairstyle?

Hyde:No, but both create a major burn. Kinda like sleeping with Laurie.

Kelso:Burn Baby Burn, oh. You know, you could use bactine & save time when you sleep with Laurie and just use it then….BURN

Eric:Stop talking about my sister

Fez:Eric, give it up. Your sister is a whore.

Hyde:This stash is nasty man


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I didn't want to make the chapters too long, so please bear with me….it'll be worth it in the end. Thank you for all of the kind reviews.

Still own nothing. Just love the show.

Scene Five

Hallway outside Fez & Jackie's Apartment

Five days before Christmas, early that morning

Hyde:Forman, why are we over here this early

Eric:I told you twice, we're going to do the best prank ever. It might be our last prank. We're adults, and we have to get Fez to distract the cops while we get away. 'because I'm too pretty to go to prison.

Hyde:Yeah, you wouldn't last a week

Eric:Maybe, but I wouldn't brag about being able to last 5 to 10, Heidi.

Kelso:(looks at Hyde) BURN!

Eric:Should we knock?

Hyde:Do THEY knock?

Kelso:Good point. This will be funnier when we walk in on them doing it.

Eric:I don't want to walk in on Fez touching Jackie's naughty places

Hyde:You're pathetic. You're at college and you still say "naughty places?"

Kelso:(laughing) Man, you'd never make it at the Playboy Club!

Eric:Kelso, YOU didn't make it at the Playboy Club

Hyde:Sweet. I've missed this.

Eric:(holding the door handle, like he's a game show host) And now gentlemen, we are going to be seeing your ex-girlfriend in the throws of passion with our friend.

Hyde:Passion?

Kelso:Cool.

Hyde:As long as you don't tell us to "set our phasers to stun", we're good.

Eric:(sounding touched) I'm so proud…you can quote Star Wars

Hyde:(angrily) Forman….

Eric:(quickly) And here we go….. (runs shoulder into the door) ok, it's locked. Let's just knock.

ALL THREE BOYS POUND ON THE DOOR. FEZ IS IN THE LIVING ROOM WEARING A TOWEL. HE ANSWERS THE DOOR AND IS GENUINELY SHOCKED TO SEE THE BOYS STANDING THERE.

Fez:What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at The Hub at lunch…

THE BOYS ALL ENTER THE APARTMENT, FEZ IS STILL HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN

Eric:Well we were, but we came up with the best prank ever, so we're here to pick you up.

Kelso:And to see you & Jackie doing it.

Fez:Jackie's not home. Jackie went shopping.

THE SOUND OF A HAIRDRYER CAN BE HEARD COMING FROM FEZ' BEDROOM.

Eric:(Smirking) Looks like Fez got picked up

Fez:Umm, that is the….that is the….Secret Santa cleaning person

Hyde:And then Rudolph will pick her up by the light of his nose? To return her to the land of misfit ho's? Dillhole.

Kelso:Fez, who'd you pick up?

Eric:(To Hyde) What's the big deal? We can use this as part of our prank.

Hyde:Eric, I don't care. But do you want to deal with Donna if she finds out that you knew that Fez was cheating on Jackie? (He smiles realizing that he can burn Eric with Donna)

HYDE RUNS OUT THE DOOR WITH ERIC CHASING AFTER HIM. THEY ARE GONE FROM THE APARTMENT BEFORE FEZ' BEDROOM DOOR OPENS. KELSO STANDS THERE LAUGHING AT THEM RUNNING. FENTON COMES RUNNING OUT OF FEZ'S BEDROOM WEARING A PINK ROBE, WITH A RUFFLE.

Kelso:Oh man, this is like the best burn ever!

Fenton:(looking at Kelso) Burns can hurt so good.

KELSO'S EYES GROW HUGE AND HE RUNS OUT THE DOOR AFTER ERIC & HYDE.

Scene Six:

Foreman basement

Circle time

Kelso:(laughing) Fez REALLY did it this time.

Hyde:Fez was cheating on Jackie. Not it for telling her.

Eric:Not it for telling her. It is time to get Fez the stupid helmet.

Donna:It's amazing that Fez was cheating on Jackie while knocking up Jackie at the same time.

Eric, Hyde & Kelso:WHAT!

Donna:What! I didn't say anything. Who said anything about pregnant.

Eric:You did. You said Jackie was pregnant.

Hyde:Technically, you said knocking up Jackie. But yeah, you said it.

Kelso:Not it for telling anybody anything. Cause if you sit here long enough, you can find out anything and still not get kicked in the shins. And I know everything.

Donna:Dammit Eric, you're turning me into a dumbass. And instead of wearing my ass as a hat, I'll have to wear one picked out by a very angry, hormonal midget.

Scene Seven:

Foreman basement

1 hour after circle time

JACKIE ENTERS THE BASEMENT. NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING. JACKIE WALKS BY THE GROUP AND THEY JUST WATCH HER GO TO THE FREEZER. JACKIE WALKS BY HYDE, HE GETS UP AND OFFERS HIS CHAIR TO HER. SHE STARES AT HIM STRANGELY AND WALKS CLOSER TO THE COUCH. KELSO AND ERIC GET UP TO OFFER THEIR SEATS BUT END UP FIGHTING AND FALLING OVER THE BACK OF THE COUCH IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET AWAY FROM THE PREGNANT WOMAN. DONNA (SITTING IN THE FOLDING CHAIR) JUST PUTS HER HEAD IN HER HANDS.

Jackie:Oh My God. You all know. (Angrily) Donna, prepare to hit the mall.

Donna:Oh crap. I'm going to look like a hooker on acid. Eric this is all your fault.

Eric:What'd I do? Wait, you're going to dress up like a hooker? Could you do Princess Leia as a hooker?

JACKIE & DONNA GLARE AT ERIC AND LEAVE THE BASEMENT. FEZ COMES BACK DOWNSTAIRS WITH COOKIES AND SEES HE'S ALL ALONE WITH THE BOYS.

Fez:Eiiyye. (He turns to run, but the boys grab him and sit him down on the couch)

Hyde:Fez, You have to do what's right man. Step up. You can't leave this kid alone. It'll grow up loving disco. What am I saying, poor kid. It'll grow up loving disco.

Fez:Ummm, this is not that simple.

Eric:How can this not be simple? You guys live together; she's pregnant. Last time I checked, 1+1 equals 2. Boy + Girl equals Baby

Fez:(meekly) Try Boy – Girl + Boy + Boy equals Baby

Hyde:(confused) What?

Kelso:(really confused) Jackie's having triplets

Eric:(confused & scared) Oh don't tell me Donna's pregnant too

Fez:No. No one is pregnant. Not me, Not Donna. Well, except Jackie is pregnant.

Kelso:(relieved) Way to dodge a bullet Foreman (pats him on the back)

Hyde:(getting angry) What do you mean, not you?

Fez:I am not pregnant.

Eric:(frustrated) Well, that would be impossible Fez, but you're going to be a father.

Fez:That is what I have been trying to tell you sons of bitches. It is not my baby. Now Good Day to you.

Eric:Fez!

Fez:I said Good Day! (Fez storms out of the basement)

The boys sit in stunned silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Scene Eight:

Front Steps of Forman Home

Donna & Jackie are sitting on the steps. Donna has her arm around Jackie, who has her head on her knees.

Jackie:(looking up at Donna) It happened on Halloween. I got drunk, he got drunk, and we had sex. I'm pregnant. Pretty standard procedure.

Donna:Listen, I'm sorry that everyone found out like that. But I'm here for you. No matter what. And so is everyone else. I'll make them.

Jackie:It's nice to have a lumberjack as a best friend.

Donna:(laughing) Stop calling me that.

Jackie:(laughing) You told everyone I was pregnant. I'm calling you anything I want.

Donna:(embarrassed) yeah, you're right. And since I spilled that…..I suppose I have to spill this. Umm, I don't know how to tell you this. Especially under these circumstances.

Jackie:(knowingly) Fez is with someone else?

Donna:HOW did you do that? How do you know that?

Jackie:I'm good.

Donna:Wow. How long has this been going on?

Jackie:For a while.

Donna: Why didn't you tell me?

Jackie:I am telling you. And besides, until recently….anyway, I'm not thinking about this now. Let's just get through Christmas and then we'll worry about the rest. Like what you & Eric are getting me for Christmas. They're lots of things that I want…. (Jackie jumps up & starts heading off)

Donna:like a father for your baby….

Scene Nine

Forman basement

TWO HOURS LATER. JACKIE IS ALONE SURROUNDED BY SHOPPING BAGS. SHE IS FINGERING A SMALL WHITE BLANKET. KELSO FLINGS THE DOOR OPEN AND JACKIE SHOVES THE BLANKET INTO ONE OF THE BAGS.

Kelso:Hey, I've been looking for you.

Jackie:I'm not doing it with you Michael.

Kelso:I didn't ask you that.

Jackie:What's going on then? Going to burn me?

KELSO GOES OVER TO THE COUCH AND SITS NEXT TO JACKIE. HE TAKES HER HAND IN HIS

Kelso:(seriously) I saw Fez with Fenton this morning

Jackie:You are going to burn me! You can't burn pregnant women.

Kelso:I'm NOT burning you. I didn't tell anyone.

Jackie:Oh. Thank you Michael. And I know Fez thanks you too. Have you been reading Cosmo again?

Kelso: He said it wasn't his kid. Listen Jackie, if it's not Fez's kid, you're going to need some help. And I'm good with kids. I am a kid. And I already am a father. So, would you want to do it?

Jackie: Kelso, We've already done it. And we're not doing it again.

Kelso: I mean get married.

Jackie: Michael, that is very sweet. (kisses his cheek) But no. I can't marry you. We're not in love. But thank you.

Kelso: I'm here for you. And in case you have any hormonal urges you need to satisfy, I'm your man.

Jackie:Shut up Michael!

Kelso:Still friends?

Jackie:Always.

Kelso:I can't believe you turned me down twice.

Jackie:(laughing) Burn!

Kelso:Yeah, that is a sweet burn.

Scene Ten:

That evening

Forman Living Room

Red, Kitty and Eric are watching TV

Kitty:Now how many are we having for Christmas dinner. I think I might have to make more Jell-o.

Eric:Well, You, me & Dad, Donna & Bob, Hyde, Jackie, Fez, and Kelso. So, all the usual suspects.

Red:You probably should not refer to your friends as suspects. Makes it too easy for the police.

Eric:You've been spending too much time with Hyde, Dad. you're starting to sound like him.

Red: I'm not sounding like him. This is just a fact.

Kitty:Speaking of Steven, is his father coming to dinner?

Eric:I'll ask him later. (pauses) We've had other things on our minds.

Red:None of this stuff on your minds better involve setting off that smoke detector.

Kitty:Red, it's Christmas.

Eric:Don't be silly. We took the batteries out of that thing years ago. (smiles at Red)

DOORBELL RINGS

Kitty:Shut it! Both of you.

KITTY GOES TO ANSWER THE DOOR. IT'S LAURIE, STANDING WITH A SUITCASE IN A FULL BLACK NUN'S HABIT

Red:Holy Hell (He jumps out of his chair)

Kitty:Oh for God's sake Laurie, we're not even Catholic.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you again for all of your kind reviews. Much appreciated. This is a long chapter, but I think it's worth it. Please let me know what you think…..

Scene Eleven:

Foreman Living Room

FIVE DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS….LAURIE HAS JUST CAME HOME AS A NUN

Eric:Well Laurie, it's nice to see that you can wear a costume somewhere other than a Halloween party

KELSO, FEZ & JACKIE ALL COME THROUGH DEN TO THE LIVING ROOM

Kelso:(looks at Laurie) See how this is supposed to work Jackie. You get drunk at Halloween & come home for Christmas still dressed as a nun, not a pregnant nun

KITTY GRABS LAURIE BY THE ELBOW & PULLS HER ASIDE

Kitty:You're not pregnant Laurie are you?

Laurie:Mother!

HYDE ENTERS THE LIVING ROOM FROM THE KITCHEN. JACKIE LEAVES AND RUNS PAST HYDE & DONNA, WHO'S COMING OVER WITH PRESENTS FOR UNDER THE TREE.

Hyde:What'd I miss here?

Fez:Well, we all know somebody missed something.

Red:I'm leaving before somebody explains something I don't want to hear.

RED LEAVES THE LIVING ROOM & HEADS FOR THE KITCHEN/GARAGE

Donna:Mrs. Foreman, Fez got Jackie pregnant on Halloween.

Fez:For the last time, It is not my baby! Eiyye.

Donna:Well, whose baby is it supposed to be, we aren't doing another Christmas play with Jackie playing the virgin mother.

Kitty:Ok, everyone relax. (gently grabs Fez by the arm & pulls her towards him) Fez, honey, now are you SURE that it is not your baby?

Fez:Yes Miss Kitty. (whispers in her ear)

Kitty:(uncomfortable) Ok then. He's not the father. (Angrily looks at everyone) Now who knows who knocked up Jackie. (frustrated) I need a drink. (heads towards the bar)

Eric:Wait Mom, you believe him?

Kitty:Yes Eric. A person's sexual choices are ones personal business and I'm not going to pressure anyone into revealing anything they're not comfortable with.

Kelso:Dude, what she is talking about.

Hyde:You dummy, Fez is GAY

Eric:Fez is Gay!

Donna:Fez is Gay?

Laurie:I knew he was Gay.

Fez:In my country, we just say homosexual.

Hyde:Fez, if you're Gay, they why were you still dating Jackie?

Fez:She was my beard. I never did it with her.

Everyone:YOU NEVER HAD SEX WITH HER!

Fez:I couldn't. She's like my sister

Kelso:This is the longest burn in the history of time

Eric:This isn't a burn Kelso. We're Fez's friends. And we will support his creepy, choice to embark on the love that dare not speak its name.

Kitty:Eric…

Eric:kidding

Fez:Good, then I will bring Fenton to Christmas Dinner.

Eric:Well…can't wait to see what Red comes up with for this one

Scene Twelve:

Fez & Jackie's apartment

Living room

Shortly after Laurie's return & Fez' outing.

Donna:Why didn't you tell me

Jackie:(smiles) It's like we always knew. But once Fez & I decided not to be a couple, we just couldn't bring ourselves to tell everyone, it was too much. He wasn't ready & it was too humiliating to be dumped again. It was right after St. Patrick's Day. And it was easy for him, because Fenton lives just downstairs. They're good for each other. But man, stay out of here in the morning. Not enough mirror space.

Donna:What are you going to do.

Jackie:I don't know.

JACKIE PUTS HER HEAD ON DONNA'S SHOULDER

Scene Thirteen

Later that evening

Point Place woods; site from Jackie Bags Hyde

Hyde drives up in the El Camino and is surprised to find Jackie already there.

Hyde:Hey

Jackie:Hey yourself

Hyde:How'd you get here?

Jackie:I hitched. I learned a thing or two when I was with you.

Hyde:Umm…yeah. You know, everyone's been looking for you.

Jackie:I figured. I just wanted to be alone & think.

Hyde:In the cold? (pauses & takes off his coat & puts it around her shoulders) How are you?

Jackie:Ok. All things considered. Pregnant & alone isn't so bad.

Hyde:(firmly) Yes it is.

Jackie:Arguing with a pregnant woman, Good idea Steven.

Hyde:I'm not arguing, I'm just saying you…you need to take care of yourself…and anyone else that comes along. (He's trying to get the zen back, but it's not working)

Jackie:I won't tell anyone you're such a softie.

Hyde:(takes off the sunglasses to look right at Jackie) Jackie…….

Jackie:Yeah Steven

Hyde:It's my baby, isn't it…

Jackie:(Laughs) No. We only did it that one time….I mean…night.

Hyde:yeah, Halloween night. Donna told Forman that you did it with a drunk guy on Halloween night and he's the father of your baby. I recall Halloween, I definitely recall being a guy and judging by my hangover when I woke up in bed with you, I would say there was booze of some sort involved.

Jackie:Yeah, there was booze. LOTS of booze.

Hyde:Jackie…answer my question.

Jackie:Steven…..No, I can't...

Hyde:Jackie….you know how I feel about this kind of thing. With how I grew up…being alone….dealing with Edna, Bud,….not knowing about….my god, woman….how'd you think I messed us up that much…I'm a smart guy, but they don't have books on how to make an unloved orphan boy….

Jackie:(smiles) Maybe you should write one….call it, "How to screw up your kid without really trying" I'll write the sequel…"Money can't buy you happiness or parenting skills"

Hyde:Yeah, we sure know what we're talking about in the parenting department. Or lack thereof

Jackie:or lack thereof….

Hyde:Jackie…..

Jackie:(crying) It wasn't supposed to be like this Steven….first there would be our wedding, then the honeymoon in Hawaii, then getting a little house, and THEN the baby….

Hyde:then it is…

Jackie:(sobbing) yes, Steven. It's your baby. But I don't want anything from you that you aren't ready to give. It's not fair to me, to you, or the baby.

Hyde:(brushing a tear from her cheek) No. It wouldn't be.

Jackie:And it wasn't just you that screwed us up. I helped. A lot.

Hyde:Just like you to want your fair share of the credit.

Jackie:(rolls her eyes) You're impossible. (pauses) I'm keeping the baby. She'll be the first person that completely belongs to me.

Hyde:and to me.

Jackie:Steven, what are you saying?

Hyde:just that….whatever….

Jackie:Whatever….My second favorite phrase behind 'I don't know.' (pauses) I'm sorry about that. Never mind. I won't tell who the father is. You won't have to do a thing, or lift a finger. You've done enough.

JACKIE TURNS TO LEAVE

Hyde:Dammit Jackie, you're not leaving without hearing my answer this time


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Everyone has been so kind with their reviews. It's nice to know that your work is appreciated by others. I was going to wait a bit longer before posting this chapter….but, oh well. This is one of my favorite chapters (As you can tell, I've been working on this for a while.)

This is all about J/H & the scene I think we all wanted to see. Please let me know what you think….

Jackie:Steven, what are you saying?

Hyde:just that….whatever….

Jackie:Whatever….My second favorite phrase behind I don't know. Never mind. I won't tell who the father is. You won't have to do a thing, or lift a finger. You've done enough.

JACKIE TURNS TO LEAVE

Hyde:Dammit Jackie, you're not leaving without hearing my answer this time

HYDE GRABS JACKIE BY THE ELBOW AS SHE TRIES TO LEAVE, SPINS HER AROUND AND KISSES HER PASSIONATELY. WHEN THEY BOTH COME UP FOR AIR, HYDE HOLDS JACKIE BY HER SHOULDERS

Hyde:(slowly) That…has always been the only way I know of to shut you up

Jackie:Maybe….

Hyde:No. No talking yet….you have to hear me out…and since it's cold out, I don't want to have to repeat myself.

Jackie nods ok….doesn't say a word.

Hyde:I got you this…almost two years ago now…I have no idea if it still fits, (looks her up and down & smirks) but you haven't put on that much baby weight yet…..

Jackie kicks Hyde who is laughing hysterically…

Jackie:Not funny….

Hyde:Not finished yet doll. I wanna do this right. Or as right as I can.

HYDE SLOWLY GUIDES JACKIE UP AGAINST THE HOOD OF THE EL CAMINO AND LIFTS HER SO SHE'S SITTING ON THE HOOD. HE REACHES BACK INTO THE CAR AND PULLS OUT A BOUQUET OF HOLIDAY RIBBONS & HOLLY & IVY BRANCHES.

Hyde:They're not roses, but I got them for you. Stole them out of five different yards.

HYDE PLACES THE FLOWERS IN JACKIE'S ARMS AND TAKES ABOUT FIVE STEPS BACKWARDS

Hyde:(reaching for the Zen) There's only so much you can do in Wisconsin in the winter after the stores are closed. It was this or plastic flowers from the cemetery.

JACKIE IS BLINKING BACK TEARS WITH ONE ARM AROUND THE BOUQUET & ONE HAND OVER HER HEART

Hyde:(begins to pace in front of Jackie) We've never talked about this. You know, what happened…We started to...When Mrs. Foreman told me that you had left a note, I was on my way to tell you my answer to your ultimatum. I didn't like it that you gave me one, I still don't. But I had an answer. And that was yeah, we're going to get married. Someday. I wasn't ready then. But I wanted you to stay. And then Chicago & Sam…

Jackie:I know I'm not supposed to talk, but you can skip this part of the play by play recap.

Hyde:(smiles and stops pacing) yeah. (seriously) We've both done & said some things that we can't take back. And if I could make the past year or so a dream…but I can't. All I can tell you is that if I had to do it all over again…then again, I probably wouldn't be able to do this…

HYDE TAKES JACKIE'S HAND IN HIS AND SLOWLY LOWERS HIMSELF ON TO ONE KNEE

Jackie:Oh my God….

Hyde:yeah, I could use his help about now

Jackie:Oh my God… (Begins crying)

Hyde:Jackie, I've always been alone. And you've always been alone. The only thing that I've known for sure besides being alone…is that… (softly, but firmly) I love you. And I'm not going to let you be alone anymore. Or our baby. I'm not saying it will always be easy, (smirking) but I guarantee you it'll never be boring. (pauses & swallows hard) So, will you marry me?

HYDE PUTS HIS HAND IN HIS POCKET AND PULLS OUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING.

Jackie:Oh Steven

Hyde:(frantically) Is that a yes? No? What! I'm kneeling in snow!

Jackie:(sobbing) Yes! yes! yes! I'll marry you

HYDE GETS OFF THE GROUND AND TENDERLY TAKES JACKIE'S FACE IN HIS HANDS AND KISSES JACKIE ON THE LIPS AND PLACES THE RING ON HER FINGER. THEY KISS AGAIN.

Jackie: This may sound strange coming from me but, … you don't have to… you're not doing this just because I'm… are you?

Hyde:(smirking) Well….I always said you propose when the girl's pregnant & there's no way out

Jackie:(hits Hyde's shoulder) Oh, I don't care…

Hyde:Yes you do.

Jackie:No I don't. I finally heard the words I've been waiting for from...

Hyde:(raises one eyebrow & smiles) Waiting for from who?

Jackie:(tries to be Zen) I didn't say waiting for from anyone….

Hyde:(teasingly) yes, you did

HYDE STANDS THERE SMIRKING AT JACKIE. SHE SMIRKS RIGHT BACK AT HIM.

Jackie:Fine! Are we going to do this all night?

Hyde:We could, but I've got a better idea… (Leans in towards Jackie) If I'm not completely frozen…

THEY START MAKING OUT

Hyde:(pulls away & brushes a piece of her hair behind her ear) Jackie, it wasn't the only reason. It was just a kick in the pants to get me here…

Jackie:(beaming) I know. But thank you for saying it…

SHE SQUEALS AND GRABS HIM AND THEY BEGIN MAKING OUT AGAIN

Hyde:(Exasperated) As much as I love doing this, I'm freezing my nads off here

Jackie:(wraps her arms around Hyde's neck) My frozen Pudding Pop. (Seductively) I'll bet I can thaw you out…

Hyde:(Quickly) shut your pie hole & get in the car woman!

JACKIE STARTS GIGGLING, BUT DOESN'T MOVE. HYDE PICKS HER UP AND BEGINS CARRYING HER TO THE CAR DOOR. JACKIE IS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY

Scene Fourteen

Hyde's room

Foreman Basement

On Hyde's cot, Jackie is curled up next to Hyde, who's stroking her arm & shoulder very slowly. They're naked under the blankets. The only light is from three candles from around the room.

Jackie:(disbelief, staring at her engagement ring) you had this almost two years… I can't believe you had this for almost two years….

Hyde:Jackie, read the inscription…You can't carve gold with a pocketknife in twenty minutes.

JACKIE READS THE INSCRIPTION BY THE LIGHT OF HYDE'S LIGHTER,

LOVE ALWAYS, YOUR PUDDING POP

Hyde:You realize, you can never take that off. Or show that to anyone.

Jackie:I'm showing it to anyone & everyone. And you can't stop me because then I'll name our child Donny Osmond Hyde. Regardless of it being a boy or a girl.

Hyde:you wouldn't

Jackie:Watch me

Hyde:(shakes his head with delight) my fiancé, a pregnant, disco loving, blackmailing bad ass.

THEY KISS

Jackie:I love you. Steven, I've always loved you. (seriously) But no more strippers.

Hyde:No more strippers. Or nurses. (Hyde kisses her again)

Jackie:And we're not naming our child anything close to Sam.

Hyde:Didn't think so. By the way, cross Michael/Michelle off the list too.

Jackie:I can't cook.

Hyde:I can.

Jackie:I don't do laundry or clean.

Hyde:I know.

Jackie:(smiling) I'm still an acrobat in the bedroom.

Hyde:(devilish smile) that's why I love you.

Jackie:oh, Steven, I've missed you so

Hyde:Our kid is going to be so twisted.

THEY START MAKING OUT AGAIN


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your kind words. Glad you're enjoying it. Much more to come.

Scene Fifteen

Foreman Basement; Hyde's room

Later that same evening

ROUND TWO IN THE BEDROOM; JACKIE IS LEANING UP AGAINST THE WALL; HYDE HAS HIS HEAD IN HER LAP

Hyde:I'm not wearing a tux

Jackie:why not

Hyde:It's too girly

Jackie:You wore one to the prom!

Hyde:(pauses….thinking carefully) but that was the prom (he fake cries on to her shoulder like Jackie did to get him to take her)

Jackie:(laughing) Steven…Steven….stop it, Fine. But at least wear a tie.

Hyde:Done.

Jackie:We have a lot to do

Hyde:yeah.

Jackie:The gang is going to flip.

Hyde:probably.

KELSO YELLS THROUGH THE DOOR OF THE BEDROOM

Kelso:Not really, we kinda figured it out together.

Eric:(squeaks) You lie! Donna & I figured it out. You were blaming the toilet seat at the concert

Donna:You both are dillholes!

HYDE & JACKIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND JACKIE ROLLS HER EYES. HYDE GETS OUT OF BED AND TURNS ON THE LIGHTS. THEN HE JERKS OPEN THE DOOR TO THE THREE FRIENDS WHO ALL HAVE A BEER IN THEIR HANDS, WHO STUMBLE INTO THE ROOM

Hyde:(to Donna) Just for clarification purposes, are you referring to us or them? (points to Eric & Kelso)

Donna:Does it matter?

Hyde:Not really.

Eric:(to Hyde) Do you realize that she's the devil and you got her pregnant on Halloween. Your child is going to be the antichrist!

Kelso:Cool. The antichrist with an afro.

HYDE FROGS KELSO & ERIC FOR THEIR COMMENTS. HE LOOKS AT DONNA. DONNA LOOKS AT HIM.

Donna:You don't hit girls

Hyde:No, but you'll wish I did. (he looks at Jackie) Do it Baby.

Jackie:Donna, you're going to be my Maid of Honor!

THEY HUG & JACKIE GOES OVER TO HYDE, WHO PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER. SLOWLY THE REALIZATION OF WHAT SHE'S DONE STARTS TO WASH OVER DONNA'S FACE

Donna:Oh My God. What have I done?

Kelso:Bet you wish you could just get hit in the arm now, Big Red

Hyde:(sarcastically) Forman, you better watch yourself…could be a double ceremony

Jackie:No. No one is stealing my thunder on the most glorious day ever, when I become Mrs. Steven Hyde.

HYDE & JACKIE KISS AGAIN. EVERYONE ELSE YELLS, AWWWW

Hyde:Shut it!

Eric:(disgusted) I hate thunder.

Donna:And when would this day be?

JACKIE LOOKS AT HYDE, HYDE LOOKS AT JACKIE. SHE SMILES, HE SHRUGS.

Jackie:Well, we don't want to have them make an extra trip from Madison & Chicago.

Hyde:WB's in town

Jackie:(eyes growing larger) next week?

Hyde:(smiling) Christmas Day seems slow.

Jackie:(squealing) You won't forget our anniversary if it's Christmas!

Hyde:Don't bet on that.

THEY SMILE & KISS AGAIN

ERIC RUNS UPSTAIRS TO THE KITCHEN WHERE RED, KITTY & BOB ARE EATING CHRISTMAS COOKIES. THE GANG FOLLOWS UPSTAIRS

Eric:Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…ooh red sprinkles (grabs a cookie). Mom, Hyde's marrying Jackie on Christmas Day.

Kitty:That's…only…five...well, really four at this point… days away…..

Red:Pay up Bob. I win.

BOB PULLS OUT HIS WALLET AND GIVES RED $20 DOLLARS.

Jackie:You guys bet on the father of my baby?

Red:It wasn't that hard to figure out. Hajib's with Tinkerbell, Kelso's been in Chicago, Eric thinks you're the devil and since there's no one else left with you hopheads, I figured you were back to Steven.

JACKIE IS SHOCKED; STEVEN & THE OTHERS KIDS QUIETLY LAUGH

Bob:I hadn't figured on all that.

Red:(gets up from the table and goes over to Jackie) I'm sorry sweetheart if our bet upset you. Congratulations. (gives her a kiss on the forehead)

Jackie:(staring at Red) Give me the $20 and you're forgiven

RED SIGHS AND GIVES JACKIE THE $20

Red:(to Hyde) You're the perfect couple

RED GOES BACK TO HIS CHAIR AT THE TABLE

Kitty:Oh there's so much to do. Have to call Pastor Ron, get some flowers, get some mints, a photographer, Oh my God, I have to bake a wedding cake!

Hyde:Listen, we just want a simple ceremony, with our friends & family, you know, you guys, there. Nothing fancy.

Jackie:A little fancy. (Excitedly) Lots of glitter.

Eric:(aside to Donna) Better call Fenton now.

Hyde:(to Jackie) Nothing real fancy.

JACKIE POUTS & LOOKS AT HYDE

Hyde:Fine. A little fancy. (they kiss)

Red:Ceremony after the Packer game?

Hyde: Yeah.

Red:Count me in.

Hyde:That's fancy enough for me

Scene Sixteen

Foreman Kitchen

Red & Kitty are sitting at the table; everyone else has left the room

Red:(questioning) Kitty…

Kitty:(wistfully) Oh, Red. I know. They're all growing up so fast. And leaving us.

Red:Yeah. About that. Where are Steven & the Loud One going to live?

Kitty:They're getting married Red. She's already pregnant. They're downstairs right now, rearranging things.

Red:I was afraid you were going to say that. How did all of this happen? Two days ago, you and I were going to have a nice, quiet Christmas and now we have everyone staying here and a wedding…..

Kitty:(excitedly pounds on the table) Ooh. And a grandchild...

Red:And a grandchild. Kitty, this house only has three bedrooms

Kitty:(Calmly) That's all taken care of. Steven & Jackie are in his room in the basement. Laurie is in her old room. Eric is in his old room. Bob is in Fez' apartment and Michael will stay there too, since Fez is moving in with Fenton.

Red:(Smiling) Where's Donna sleeping?

Kitty:(Smile disappears from her face) That harlot! Get away from my baby!

KITTY RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM. RED CHUCKLES AND HAS ANOTHER COOKIE

Next Chapter: Midnight Cravings, the return of WB & Leo, Kelso gets a job and Red can't figure out how he got it. Plus more wedding goodness with J/H


	8. Chapter 8

Scene Fifteen

3am

Four days before Christmas

Forman Kitchen

JACKIE WALKS INTO THE KITCHEN FROM THE BASEMENT. SHE IS WEARING A RED FLANNEL PAJAMA TOP AND HER HAIR IS IN A PONYTAIL ON TOP OF HER HEAD.

Jackie:(mumbles to herself) Ughh. What am I going to eat at 3am? (opens refrigerator door) I've got wedding stress, family stress, baby stress…oh my god…what if I'm already having cravings? I'm going to be as big as one of the cows if this is already starting now…(Looks at her belly) ok, baby…Mama still has to fit into her favorite jeans for a few more….oh, whatever.

JACKIE RUBS HER STOMACH LOVINGLY AND GRABS THE MILK FROM THE FRIDGE, WALKS OVER TO THE CABINET AND GRABS SOME CEREAL, A BOWL & A SPOON. SHE STARTS POURING THE CEREAL AT THE COUNTER WHEN SHE HEARS FOOTSTEPS BEHIND HER.

Hyde:Hey (he's half asleep, wearing gray sweatpants & a wife-beater)

Jackie:(semi-embarrassed) Hey. Did I wake you?

Hyde:No…but when I woke up, you weren't there or in the basement. Are you ok?

Jackie:I got hungry. (eats a spoonful of cereal)

Hyde:(his eyes travel down to Jackie's legs & he starts smiling) Yeah, me too. (Hyde walks over to her, standing behind her and puts his arms around Jackie so his hands are resting on her belly. Jackie keeps eating)

Jackie:Something tells me you are not talking about cereal. (Hyde raises an eyebrow. Jackie looks over her shoulder at him and smiles knowingly) Do you want some?

Hyde:Oh hell, yeah. (he takes the cereal bowl away from her and turns her around and passionately begins kissing her.)

Jackie:(whispers to her belly) Your daddy's a pig! (Hyde grabs Jackie's hand & they start back down to the basement)

Scene Sixteen

Hyde's bedroom

Forman Basement

3 hours later

HYDE IS ALMOST ASLEEP; JACKIE IS LAYING NEXT TO HIM, WITH HER HEAD ON HIS CHEST

Jackie:(sighs)

Hyde:(keeping his eyes closed) well, that's not good.

Jackie:what?

Hyde:you only make that noise when you are REALLY bothered by something. And if you're really bothered by something, I'M not going to be getting any more sleep tonight. So…out with it. What's wrong?

Jackie:Did you think our wedding would be like this?

Hyde:With you knocked up, very likely.

Jackie:I'm serious.

Hyde:(smirking) So am I.

Jackie:Oh, nevermind. It's probably just nerves.

HYDE SITS UP AND TAKES JACKIE BY THE HAND.

Hyde:What's just nerves, doll.

Jackie:Don't get me wrong…I'm thrilled we're getting married…and even this fast. I don't care about that part. You, me and our baby is all that matters.

Hyde:Exactly. So, what's the problem.

Jackie:I never thought I'd be getting married without…parents. My parents, your parents…who's walking me down the aisle? Who's going to be my crazy mother in law? Who's going to throw me a shower? It's times like these that really show how screwed up our families are….right?

Hyde:Listen to me. Red can walk you down the aisle. Or Bob. You lived in his house AND he might never get the chance to walk Donna down to Forman. (Jackie nods) 'Course Red's never going to do that with Laurie, so you can pick which one you want to do that. Kitty can be your crazy mother in law…just try to take away the booze from her…and well, Fez will probably do the shower….either with Fenton or Donna…so it's ok baby. I know this isn't what you imagined, but…they're our family.

Jackie:Oh, Steven.

Hyde:WB's going to be there. So we'll have one biological parent there. That's about all we've ever had combined.

Jackie:When did you get to be so good at this?

Hyde:I'm still not…I'm just…I want you to be happy. About our wedding. (disbelief) Did I just say what I think I said?

Jackie:(beaming) Yes, you did.

Hyde:No more circles until after the wedding.

Jackie:Circles are fine. We're going to be fine and now you mister, deserve a reward.

Hyde:A reward…for what?

Jackie:For learning about comforting. So now, I'm going to comfort you. (moves closer to him and places her hand behind his neck, guiding him to her lips. They kiss. After a few moments, Jackie moves her lips to his ear)

Hyde:Is it too late for me to become a boy scout?

Jackie:(moving down to his neck) Boy scouts don't get rewards. And you _certainly_ deserve rewards.

Hyde:My reward…another night without sleep…..Oh well. (smiles broadly)

Next Chapter: Kelso gets a new job and Red is HORRIFIED!


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you all for your reviews! I made things a bit longer now because people seem to like the story, so the tease wasn't exactly accurate before…..So here ya go!

Scene Seventeen

Foreman Living Room

Four days before Christmas

Red, Donna, Eric, Hyde are watching TV.

Kitty is cooking in the kitchen

Kitty:Have you boys seen Michael? I sent him to the store over three hours ago to get some eggs and he still hasn't come back yet. Jackie's helping me and we're getting to the point where we can't make anything else without the eggs…not that she would touch them anyway….But where are my eggs?

KELSO COMES RUNNING FROM THE KITCHEN INTO THE LIVING ROOM

Kelso:Everybody! I got a job. I ran into this guy at the Piggly Wiggly when I was getting more eggs for Mrs. Forman (hands eggs to Kitty) and I've got a job. I joined the Marines. I get to blow stuff up for a LIVING.

Eric:God help us…

Donna:Every One.

Red:What the hell kind of military are we running here? Now they took Kelso. Oh, what am I saying. But… they took Kelso!

Hyde:See, can't trust the government

Red:Shut up dumbass, you're marrying the loud one this week. How's that for a conspiracy. This is all a conspiracy against me. Where are you two going to be living? Kitty, where are these two idiots going to live? (He and Kitty go into the kitchen)

JACKIE ENTERS THROUGH THE KITCHEN

Jackie:What did you guys do to Mr. Forman? He hasn't been this riled up since Ford pardoned Nixon. And that's really saying something, because I remembered that even though I was doing my nails in history class.

Donna:Kelso joined the Marines! (Kelso grins proudly – like a Cheshire cat)

Jackie:Michael! Why did you do something like that?

Kelso:I'm going to blow stuff up for a living!

Jackie:Yeah, like yourself.

Donna:Whatever possessed you to do this?

Kelso:Well, Casey was in the Army, Bob was in the National Guard, Red was in the Navy, so….I figured why not the Marines?

Eric:This is the same logic you use when you decide which Charlie's Angel is the hottest each year….which one is the one I haven't fantasized about?

Kelso:You've fantasized about all of them….BURN!

Donna:Ok, on that note, Jackie are you ready to go?

Jackie:Definitely. I'm getting my wedding dress! (starts jumping up and down & clapping)

Donna:Damn maid of honor duties

(Jackie kisses Hyde, Donna kisses Eric and both girls leave to go shopping)

Kelso:I'm leaving too. I have to get fitted for my uniform! (Kelso exits)

Eric:You think they'll reserve a casket for him at basic training?

Hyde:Nah. But he'll have a whole hospital wing named after him before the corruption takes him overseas….

Eric:Hey, I've been wondering about something? Who DID you vote for Hyde?

Hyde:Reagan. Hey, it was a choice between Bedtime for Bonzo or the peanut guy. Don't tell Red, I just love to see that vein pop on his neck when he's really worked up.

Eric:You two are turning into the same guy.

Hyde:Give it time, I'm going to be telling my son or someone dating my daughter that they're a dumb ass.

Eric:You're really going to be a father.

Hyde:Yep.

Eric:you ok with that.

Hyde:yeah. I really am. Bud & Edna, well whatever. And then you guys you know ….so….I'm not in prison….so, I guess the incarceration chain is broken.

Eric:You are marrying Jackie…if that's not prison…..

Hyde:Shut it!

Eric:Seriously, I'm happy for you man.

Hyde:Forman, Can you do me two favors?

Eric:Sure buddy.

Hyde:First, during the ceremony, If Kelso starts to say something when Pastor Ron says "if anyone can show just cause why these two…"

Eric:Consider him frogged

Hyde:Thank you. And second….umm, would you be my….well…. Donna's gonna be Jackie's maid of honor, so I was thinking it wouldn't be right otherwise….

Eric:Absolutely buddy, you're family.

Hyde:And now you're gonna be related to Jackie!

Eric:Well, I'm related to Laurie so what's the diff?

Hyde:Get Bent.

THEY PLAY FIGHT

Scene Eighteen

Forman Kitchen

Red:(Ranting & Raving) I can't believe Kelso joined the Marines. If anything, he belongs in the National Guard. But the Marines? It's Kelso, for God's sake.

Laurie:Daddy, I really wish that you would stop saying things like that. Remember, I am a nun.

Kitty:Time to get another margarita. (she takes off for the living room with the blender)

Red:(Glares at Laurie) About that. What possessed you to do this?

Laurie:Well, I've dated enough. And I didn't find what I was looking for. So, I figured, Why not. I'll save money on clothes and I can still drink!

Red:I'm having another heart attack! (clutches his chest)

Laurie:Daddy! (Kitty, Eric & Hyde come into the kitchen after Laurie yells)

Red:Kidding, but that was your reasoning for becoming a nun?

Laurie:Not really. Just wanted to make you proud by helping people. Maybe someday, I'll change my mind, but this is something I really need to do right now. I've been a little unfocused

Eric:Blind as a Bat unfocused!

Hyde:Unfocused…try unbalanced. Although, I've heard that she likes to spank with rulers

Red:Zip it tweedle dee & tweedle dum

Eric:Tweedle dee & tweedle dum?

Hyde:He must have been yelled at by Sister Mary Slut – O

Laurie:I haven't taken my final vows yet, so I can still get you two

Eric:Ooh…harsh talk from the chosen one

Hyde:Yeah, I guess we have to behave or she'll send us straight to….

Kitty:Boys, don't you have some wedding plans you could be working on?

Eric:Like a bachelor party?

Hyde:Jackie said no strippers

Eric:And since when do we listen to Jackie?

Hyde:(just raises his eyebrow)

Eric:Ok, no strippers. (The boys leave for the driveway)

Red:Kitten, if you feel this is what you have to do right now, your mother & I support you.

Laurie:Thank you Daddy…(she kisses his cheek)

Kitty:Just don't sleep with a priest

Laurie:Sleeping has never been the problem, Mother.

Next chapter:Jackie gets a wedding dress & a surprise, Donna tells Eric about Law School, Fez decides to relocate and the bachelor party starts…..drunk bowling 2


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Scene 19

Forman driveway

The boys are playing basketball

Two days to Christmas & the wedding

Fez:I cannot believe you are getting married in two days.

Kelso:He's marrying Jackie in two days

Eric:I can't believe we're having a bachelor party tonight for Hyde marrying Jackie, (dramatic pause) in two days.

Hyde:Zip it, Huey, Dewey & Louis. Yeah, I'm getting married in two days. But unless one of you wants to slurp their wedding cake through a straw, this better be the end of those comments.

Eric:Sorry, Hyde. That lack of sleep is really making you cranky.

Kelso:Yeah, Sorry man

Fez:I nominate Kelso for eating cake through a straw

Kelso:Fez!

KELSO & FEZ START CHASING EACH OTHER AROUND; ERIC & HYDE KEEP SHOOTING HOOPS

Hyde:So, bachelor party. What'd you come up with, since you missed the other one and all we did was go to jail

Eric:In light of the "No stripper" edict, which unfortunately I understand where Jackie was coming from with that

HYDE NODS

Eric:We thought we'd keep it simple…..Bowling

Hyde:Bowling works.

Eric:Beer still's acceptable though, right?

Hyde:Absolutely.

DONNA & JACKIE ARRIVE CARRYING A HUGE GARMENT BAG THEY PUT ON THE PORCH

Hyde:What the hell is that?

Jackie:That's my wedding dress. And you can't see it until Christmas. Otherwise it's bad luck.

Eric:(looks at the bag) How many dresses are in there?

Jackie:Don't touch that, dress killer. Just one. And you can't say anything that would upset me. Because I'm a BRIDE!

KELSO & FEZ STOP RUNNING

Kelso:Ooh, this sounds like fun

Hyde:I'm going to take a nap. (Starts to leave but Jackie grabs his arm)

Jackie:It'll be easier to get him while you're cranky

Kelso:How about, if that's the dress, she won't have any problems meeting that "fat & wide" part of the wedding march.

Donna:(Yelling) Mrs. Forman, I need a drink! (ENTERS KITCHEN CARRYING JACKIE'S DRESS)

Eric:(chasing after Donna) Right behind you sweetie!

Fez:Don't leave me out here with them, you sons of bitches!

Kelso:(cowering to a VERY ANGRY Hyde) I'm too pretty to die young (He starts running)

Hyde:Kelso, you're a dead man (Just when he starts to chase after him, Jackie grabs his arm again)

Jackie:It's alright Steven

Hyde:What do you mean it's alright?

Jackie:Yeah, but you can get him back tonight at the bowling alley. Right now there are more important things to do.

Hyde:(still angry) Like what

Jackie:(whispers in his ear...heads inside smiling)

Hyde:(anger leaves his face, and he smiles) Oh hell yeah, I'm marrying that girl in two days (he shoots the basketball, makes the shot, and then heads inside after Jackie)

Scene 20

Point Place Bowling Alley

Hyde's Bachelor Party

THE PARTY IS DIVIDED UP INTO TWO TEAMS: HYDE, ERIC, KELSO, FEZ AGAINST RED, BOB, WB & LEO. THEY'RE ALL DRUNK

Leo: Hey, Hyde's finally marrying Loud Girl

WB: I propose a toast

Red:To Steven & the loud one

Bob:That's just beautiful (cries on Red's shoulder. Leo hand him a handkerchief.)

WB:Don't look at me, this is cashmere

JACKIE'S HAVING A BRIDAL SHOWER AT THE SAME TIME. DONNA, KITTY, LAURIE & FENTON ARE ALL HAVING CAKE WITH JACKIE IN THE FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Fenton:Thank you for including me to your shower. You have such excellent taste. I remember from when you were registering for when this one (points at Donna) was marrying the skinny one.

Jackie:Yeah, well, the best taste she learned from me when she DIDN"T marry the skinny one

Donna:Guess that's what I deserve for following you around for THREE DAYS

Jackie:Sorry! Hormones

Laurie:No, you would have said that before you were pregnant

Kitty:It's time for games….Let's see who can make the best bridal gown. Jackie can judge it.

Donna:The pain never ends.

Jackie:Lumberjack

Donna:Midget

BACK TO THE BOWLING ALLEY…

Fez:Everyone. I have an announcement.

Eric:(hiccups) I thought he couldn't marry Fenton.

Hyde:(laughing) I just hope Fenton isn't pregnant too.

Fez:Fenton & I are moving to Canada after the wedding.

Eric:Whoa, Fez, isn't this a little sudden.

Fez:Not really. They have different candy up there. And strong beer.

Hyde:Well then, I propose another toast. To different candy. And strong beer.

All:TO DIFFERENT CANDY & STRONG BEER (They all drink)

Hyde:Hey, WB I gotta talk to you about something…it's a surprise for Jackie. (Hyde grabs WB around the shoulder & they walk off for a few minutes)

Fez:Isn't that sweet….a Father/Son chat on the eve of his wedding

Kelso:I think it's a little late for the sex talk Fez; she's already pregnant

Fez:Yes, but it's still sweet

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE BRIDAL SHOWER…

LAURIE & FENTON ARE DRESSED AS BRIDES. THEIR "GOWNS" ARE MADE OUT OF TOILET PAPER. THEIR DESIGNERS ARE DONNA & KITTY. JACKIE IS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT EVERYONE & TAKING PICTURES.

Laurie:Mom, she's getting as bad as you.

Donna:If that's the case, I'm never having a baby.

Kitty:Oh yes, you are.

JACKIE LAUGHS EVEN HARDER

AND WE'RE BACK AT THE BACHELOR PARTY

Bob:Ok, it's time to take this back to the ranch. (Looks embarrassed) Please take me home, I'm sleepy. (Everyone starts taking off their bowling shoes)

Kelso: (picks up two bowling balls) Look guys, my balls have holes in them.

Hyde:(jumps up) I've been waiting for this all night (He frogs Kelso, who proceeds to drop both bowling balls on his stocking feet.

Kelso:Owwww! Hyde…...

Hyde:Then shut up!

Eric:(dramatically) Let us return to the residence and retrieve our women

Red:Eric…. (Gestures towards Fez)

Eric:Ok, Let us return to the residence and retrieve our women & Fenton

Fez:Yes, the retrieval of the women, and Fenton.

WB:(to Red) You white folks throw some strange parties.

Red:Come on Grandpa, Let's get these two kids married before they give birth in my basement.

BACK AT THE FORMAN'S……THE SHOWER HAS NOW MOVED INTO THE KITCHEN. EVERYONE IS HAVING TRIPLE SCOOP BANANNA SPLITS. CIRCLE CAM AROUND THE TABLE

Kitty:I love being married. Almost as much as I love chocolate fudge on ice cream.

Fenton:A minute on the lips, forever on the hips.

Donna:I don't want to hear about it. I've been helping with this wedding and I deserve a little something.

Laurie:THAT'S why you're with my brother. (everyone looks at Laurie) Hey, I haven't taken my final vows yet.

Jackie:This has been the best shower ever…presents, games, friends and a burn on Eric….from a nun

THE BOYS ARRIVE HOME SINGING…. "ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST"

Red:Come on Kitty….let's go to bed. Nothing these dumb asses do tonight is going to upset me.

Kitty:Ok, but just so you know we only have one roll of toilet paper. (Red looks at her strangely)

Donna:Eric, I have to talk to you about something.

Eric:Anything you want, m'lady!

Donna:This may be easier with you on. (They leave for upstairs)

Kelso:My feet hurt

Hyde:Go soak them in snow

Kelso:FINE! (He leaves waddling out the door)

Fenton:Is he really going to do that?

Fez:Who can tell, it's Kelso. Let's give him a ride home. (Fez & Fenton leave)

Jackie:(puts her arms around Hyde's neck) Did you have fun at your party honey?

Hyde:Party's not over yet….(smiles at Jackie)

Jackie:Steven! You're never going to get any sleep, you know.

Hyde:I'll sleep when I'm dead…Let's go baby…(scoops her into his arms and they take off for the basement. Hyde comes running back upstairs in a minute and grabs the whipped cream can from the banana splits and runs back downstairs)

Christmas Eve is coming…..along with the surprise of Jackie's life

Hint: It's not Pam!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Scene 21

Forman Living Room

Christmas Eve

THE CHRISTMAS TREE IS IN THE CORNER, GARLAND AND ICICLES HAVE BEEN HUNG ON ALMOST EVERYTHING ELSE, CREATING A WHITE & SILVER WONDERLAND. TINY TWINKLE LIGHTS ARE ON THE RAILING UPSTAIRS. EVERYONE IS STANDING AROUND AT VARIOUS PLACES IN THE LIVING ROOM.

Donna:(awestruck) I can't believe how beautiful everything is

Eric:Getting any ideas?

Donna:Eric, I just decided to take on three more years of school. I'm not in any hurry to tie the knot. And we're not the best at this anyway.

Eric:No, but Hyde & Jackie have the right idea. Engagements just long enough to get a license & rings. Then do the deed.

Donna:(laughs) they've got that covered.

Kitty:(arranging gifts by the tree) Christmas Gifts on the outside, wedding presents on the inside

Fez:Ooh, this is just like the dance from West Side Story

Red:(annoyed) I love wedding rehearsals. They're so….boring

Kitty:We all know you feel that way Red. That's why we went through most of it when you and Bob were at the Liquor Store.

DOORBELL RINGS; RED GOES TO ANSWER IT AND IS STUNNED. WB IS STANDING THERE, WITH JACK BURKHART, JACKIE'S FATHER, FRESH FROM PRISON. HE STILL HAS THE MUSTACHE, BUT IS DRESSED CASUALLY.

Jackie:Oh My God…..Daddy!(Jackie runs to her father who has just entered the front door with W.B. She's crying, but is so happy and throws her arms around him.)

Jackie:How…How…did this happen?

Jack:You are marrying an amazing young man, kitten.

EVERYONE TURNS TO LOOK AT HYDE

Hyde:(uncomfortable) WB helped.

Jack:I've got a 24 hour furlough so I can spend Christmas Eve with my little girl and then walk her down the aisle tomorrow.

WB:But no funny stuff. I called in a few favors to pull this one off. (Hyde goes over and shakes his hand, which gets pulled into a hug. Hyde whispers something in WB's ear. They both smile. Everyone else is hugging Jack.)

Kitty:Come on Jack, I've never seen you this skinny. How about some cookies and eggnog?

Jack:Sounds good. It's been along time since I felt like celebrating anything.

Kelso:(following Kitty & Jack) What's it like in the joint, Mr. B? Are you anyone's wife?

Hyde:We'll be there in a second

EVERYONE TAKES OFF FOR THE KITCHEN EXCEPT JACKIE & HYDE

Jackie:Steven….(she's still crying) I…I…(starts towards Hyde)

Hyde:It's okay doll. It's my wedding present to you.

Jackie:Nobody has ever done anything like this for me.

Hyde:(takes Jackie into his arms) Shhhh…baby, it's going to be alright. I thought about what you were saying the other night. No matter what, he's your father. And as much as you love Red & Bob, it's no replacement for what you've wanted… (Smiling) Black Jack walking you down the aisle to the burnout that knocked you up.

Jackie:(looks up at Hyde) You're right…this is everything I've ever wanted. Especially you. (tears are still falling from her cheeks)

Hyde:(wipes away some of the tears on Jackie's cheeks and tries to make Jackie feel better) Hey, I'm just glad that he's in for fraud, not murder. The whole term "shotgun wedding" could have given him some strange ideas. Fraud is just a conversation starter.

Jackie:(clutches Hyde's arms and looks him right in the eye) I love you, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you've made me right now.

Hyde:(obviously moved. He gently grabs her cheeks and places a soft kiss on her lips, which quickly turns passionate.) So, let's spend some time with your dad and then head downstairs to see how we're going to go about starting that.

Jackie:(laughing) Do you ever stop?

Hyde:(smiling) Nope… (They start walking towards the kitchen holding hands, but Hyde suddenly stops before they get to the door)… (serious) Jackie?

Jackie:Yes Steven?

Hyde:I love you too. (They kiss again)

Scene 22

Forman Kitchen

Hyde & Jack are finishing their Christmas Cookies; everyone else has left the kitchen and is getting ready for bed or has left for the evening.

Jack:You might not think I have the right to say this, after what I've put her through, but I expect you to take care of my little girl.

Hyde:You don't have to worry about that.

Jack:Red & Kitty tell me you own a record store.

Hyde:Yes. Grooves. (getting uncomfortable with where this conversation is going)

Jack:Any other long term plans?

Hyde:(jaw starting to clench) My long term plans are simple, Jack. Just being with Jackie and our baby.

Jack:(apologetic) I didn't mean to offend, Steven. Please understand. I've changed a lot since I went to prison. But something will never change. I want my little girl to be happy & well taken care of. (sadly) I know I let her down. And I'll never forgive myself for that. That's why I don't want to see her be unhappy again.

Hyde:(still angry) I don't either. She and that baby are my whole world. And no one is ever going to hurt them.

Jack:I know. And I'll always be grateful to you for getting me here for the ceremony. I was just curious.

Hyde:(softening) Nothing wrong with being curious. But we'll be fine.

Jack:I'd like to stop by, once I'm out, to see my grandchild. And you & Jackie.

Hyde:Jackie would like that. (pauses) We all would like that. (Jack extends his hand to Hyde, who shakes it)

Jack:Thank you. And Thank God you're not a doofus, like Michael.

Hyde:(Laughs) Yeah, Kelso's got that market cornered for all of us.

JACKIE COMES UPSTAIRS TO THE KITCHEN FROM THE BASEMENT WEARING HER ROBE

Jackie:My two favorite men. Goodnight Daddy (kisses him on the cheek)

Jack:(kisses her on the cheek) Goodnight kitten. I'll leave you two alone. (exits towards living room)

Hyde:(leans back in the chair and smiles) Do I get a goodnight kiss?

Jackie:(sits on his lap) Pudding Pop, you can get whatever you want. (they kiss)

Hyde:(puts his arms around Jackie's waist) Quite the night, huh?

Jackie:Unbelievable. Thank you. And tomorrow is going to be even better.

Hyde:(raises an eyebrow) Really. How's that?

Jackie:I'm letting you sleep tonight. Because you're not going to get any sleep tomorrow.

Hyde:Probably a good idea then. But you're staying downstairs with me, right?

Jackie:Of course.

Hyde:Didn't want you pulling any of that 'Can't see the groom before the wedding crap'

Jackie:I think we've seen about all the bad luck we can get.

Hyde:Yeah.

Jackie:(jumps up from Hyde's lap) WAIT! STEVEN! You remembered. You remembered a wedding superstition. You've been reading AND listening. (starts clapping)

Hyde:(goes into denial mode) No I haven't

Jackie:(puts her hands on her hips) Yes you have

Hyde:No, I haven't

Jackie:(pouts) Oh don't even argue with me. We both know I'm right.

Hyde:(gets up and puts his arm around Jackie) Fine. You know, I've been napping while you've been shopping…so I'm not THAT tired.

Jackie:(smiles) Couple of hours be ok?

Hyde:(smirking) If you're referring to sleep, yeah. Otherwise…No.

Jackie:Come on baby; let's see if Santa left you anything you can unwrap early. (Starts off for the basement. Her robe comes flying up and hits Hyde in the face)

Hyde:(calling after her) Hey, I want to unwrap my present...(Hyde stands at the top of the stairs, takes the robe off from his face and can be seen gazing longingly at Jackie making her way downstairs) Whoa. (He takes off downstairs. All that can be heard is the thunderous sound of boots running downstairs and then hysterical giggles from Jackie)

Chapter 12…..They're getting married in the morning…..


	12. Chapter 12

Hey everyone! Thanks for all of the great reviews! I really appreciate them. There are two chapters for the wedding and one for the wrap up, plus an epilogue left. Keep reading & reviewing and I hope everyone enjoys it!

Chapter 12

Scene 23

Christmas Morning, 1980

Hyde & Jackie's wedding day

Forman basement

Hyde's room

HYDE IS SLEEPING ON HIS COT. JACKIE IS CREEPING BACK INTO THE ROOM, CARRYING A BREAKFAST TRAY. SHE PLACES THE TRAY DOWN NEAR THE COT AND CRAWLS NEXT TO HYDE AND STARTS NUZZLING HIS NECK.

Jackie:Steven, wake up…time for breakfast

Hyde:(very sleepy) Mmmm…Morning dollface…perfect way to start the day (starts to roll over on top of her)

Jackie:(excitedly) I brought you breakfast

Hyde:(stops what he's doing) What is it?

Jackie:(trying to sound annoyed) What do you mean, what is it? It's breakfast.

HYDE STARES AT THE FOOD, UNSURE OF WHAT TO DO.

Hyde:Jackie, We're getting married today. If I screw this up, I'm screwed for life. If I eat this and get sick during the ceremony, you'll never forgive me. If I say something stupid about your food, you'll never forgive me. (pauses and then yells frantically) Tell me what to do!

Jackie:(smiling) I think you should try your breakfast

VERY CAUTIOUSLY, HYDE TAKES A BITE OF HIS PANCAKES. HE STOPS CHEWING AFTER ONE BITE.

Hyde:(puts down his fork) Mrs. Forman made these

Jackie:(laughing) Hey, I never said I MADE you breakfast.

HYDE TAKES A DRINK OF HIS JUICE AND POUNCES ON JACKIE, TICKLING HER. THE BEDROOM DOOR OPENS, REVEALING ERIC, KELSO & FEZ, WHO COME IN AFTER HEARING JACKIE'S LAUGHTER.

Eric:(Hyde groans at the sight of the guys) All right now you two, save something for tonight

Jackie:Think you guys can keep an eye on him? I think his nerves are getting the better of him.

Fez:We'll keep an eye on him

Hyde:(smiles) Next time I see you will be at the ceremony.

Jackie:(beaming) When we get married (she claps and then leans in to kiss him again)

Kelso:(trying to get in between the two lovebirds) Oh for heaven's sake knock it off. Don't worry Jackie; we'll get him to the ceremony in good condition

JACKIE KISSES HYDE AND GOES TO GET READY FOR THE WEDDING. HYDE FROGS KELSO.

Scene 24

Forman Basement

Circle Time

Kelso:Well Hyde, are you in good condition? Because I'm feeling no pain.

Hyde:I'm in fabulous condition. Hey, did you know that Jackie uses this conditioner in her hair that smells like… (starts laughing) I can't remember what I was going to say!

Eric:Hyde! The circle is sacred. You know that you cannot talk about conditioner in the circle.

Fez:Eric, lighten up. Hyde and Jackie are getting married in just a few more hours. She & Donna are strapping their breasts into formal gowns as we speak.

Kelso:Yeah Eric. Hey, did you guys ever notice that the new Charlie's Angel looks like Midge?

Hyde:(laughs hysterically at Kelso)

Eric:Yeah, I can see that…. (gazes goofily)

Fez:Midge as a red head…. (gazes goofily)

Kelso:And a sweater… (gazes goofily)

Hyde:(annoyed) Hey, I'm getting married today. Stop with this Midge stuff. (laughs) I'm getting Jackie some sweaters, (HUGE grin) like Midge had.

Scene 25

Laurie's bedroom

Champagne Circle

Donna:I can't believe you two are getting _married_. (Slams her glass of champagne)

Laurie:I can't believe _you two_ are getting married. (Sips, then slams her glass of champagne)

Kitty:I can't believe that my other baby is getting _married _and then _having_ a baby too. I'm losing a baby and getting a baby. Ooh. (slams part of the bottle of champagne.

Jackie:Alright lushes….we've only got three more hours until I'm Mrs. Steven Hyde. So, let's get busy. Hair, makeup, nails, get moving….and no one looking better than me. Not that you could.

Donna:Gimme that friggin bottle…. (starts wrestling Kitty for the bottle of champagne. They fall on the floor. Laurie just looks at them)

Scene 26

Forman Living Room

Two hours later

RED, ERIC, KELSO, FEZ, BOB, WB, JACK & LEO ARE ALL AROUND THE TELEVISION, WATCHING THE LAST OF THE PACKER GAME. THEY ARE ALL DRESSED FOR THE WEDDING. KITTY AND BROOKE ARE RUNNING FROM ROOM TO ROOM, SETTING UP HORS D'ORVES. FENTON IS MAKING FINAL ADJUSTMENTS TO THE DECORATIONS.

Kelso:Where's Hyde?

Eric:Basement. Threatened to kill me if I didn't stop hovering. So I stopped hovering. Why should I hover?

Fez:Eric, you're losing it.

Eric:Oh my god, the ring. Where's the ring?

Fez:You are so bad with rings. (Kelso shakes his head in agreement)

W.B.:(looking at his watch) Think the nerves are kicking in?

Bob:'bout that time….

Kelso:Twenty says Hyde skips out on Jackie.

Red:(annoyed) He's not skipping out on anyone. Kitty, stop running around.

Kitty:(mumbling) so much to do, can't stop to think.

Red:I'm getting out of here (Red gets up and leaves the room)

Bob:Pay up W.B., I knew Red would be the one to bail.

W.B.I thought I had a sure thing with Kelso running out of fear. (he hands Bob some money from his wallet)

Scene 27

Forman Basement

Hyde is sitting in his chair in a dark suit, with a bolo tie.

RED COMES DOWN THE STAIRS AND SMILES AT HYDE

Red:(knowingly) Steven…..

Hyde:(panicked) Yeah, yeah, I do…oh. Hey Red.

Red:Nervous?

Hyde:I'm not nervous.

Red:Nervous as you can be less than an hour before your wedding.

Hyde:whatever.

Red:(sits on the chair opposite Hyde) Steven, you're supposed to be nervous. ALL men get nervous before their wedding.

Hyde:Did you get nervous?

Red:Weren't you listening?

Hyde:Yeah, but you never get affected by anything.

Red:Steven, you're going to be married. So, I'll let you in on a little secret. It's an act. It's all an act.

Hyde:No way man.

Red:That's why men have garages. So they don't show that it's not working. When we're angry, upset, sad….we fix things and build things and destroy things. That's what we do. We just don't show our emotions like the women do.

Hyde:(nods in agreement) Or Eric.

Red:(rolls his eyes) Right. Steven, on the day I married Kitty, I was so nervous that I couldn't eat and my navy buddies had to ply me with a fifth of bourbon just to get me to the church. But when I saw Kitty in that dress….nothing else mattered. I stopped shaking, the knees came together and we did it.

Hyde:(pretend shock) In the church! (places his hands on his cheeks)

Red:No, dumb ass, we had the ceremony. (Sees Hyde laughing at him) And it'll be that way for you & Jackie. As long as Eric can find the ring.

Hyde:(jaw clenches and runs up the stairs) Forman, prepare to die if you haven't found that ring.

Red:And that would be the traditional groom pep talk (pauses) with a wedding burn. (Red gets up smiling and heads upstairs after Hyde)

Scene 28

Laurie's bedroom

Donna is making the final adjustments to her makeup. She is wearing a floor length green dress with elbow length sleeves; Laurie is playing with Betsy, who is a flower girl, wearing her red, velvet Christmas dress & black patent shoes. Jackie is behind a panel, finishing getting ready.

Laurie:You got everything covered, Bride Lady?

Jackie:I think so….Something old is the pin from Mrs. Forman, something new is my dress, something borrowed are the earrings from Donna and something blue is my garter from you, Laurie.

Laurie:All right then…time to tie the knot!

THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

Jack:Everybody decent?

Donna:Come on in, we're ready.

JACK ENTERS THE DOORWAY. LAURIE & BETSY HEAD DOWNSTAIRS.

Jack:The minister just arrived. And the hippie is going to play the organ. So, I guess we're about ready.

Donna:Jackie?

JACKIE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THE PANEL. SHE IS DRESSED IN A FLOOR LENGTH LIGHT IVORY GOWN, WITH LONG, LACE SLEEVES. THE GOWN HAS AN OPEN, WIDE SWEETHEART NECKLINE, THAT EXTENDS ALMOST TO HER SHOULDERS AND IS EMPHASIZED WITH THE ANTIQUE PIN FROM MRS. FORMAN, JUST ABOVE HER STERNUM. HER HAIR IS PULLED UP, AND HAS A CROWN OF IVORY ROSES IN HER HAIR.

Donna:(tearing up) Oh my god….

Jackie:(smiles at Donna) Daddy? Do I look alright?

Jack:I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

Donna:I'll let them know we're almost ready. (She goes over and hugs Jackie tightly and then squeezes Jack's arm on her way out)

Jack:Donna's going to have to lie to everyone. I'm not ready. You'll always be my little girl.

Jackie:Oh Daddy…(she starts crying and they hug) Don't make me have to redo my makeup.

Jack:I can't promise that. (he laughs) I guess there isn't much for me to tell you. You've grown into such a lovely woman. And Steven is a fine, young man. You did good, kitten.

Jackie:Having you here means so much to me Daddy. We've missed out on so much….

Jack:But we have the future. With you & Steven. And my grandchild.

Jackie:I love you Daddy…(she kisses his cheek)

Jack:I love you too. (he kisses her cheek) Well, I guess this is it.

Jackie:I guess so.

THEY OPEN THE DOOR AND SEE FEZ STANDING THERE.

Fez:It will just be another minute. Donna has to extract Hyde's hands from around Eric's neck for thinking he lost the ring. But I will tell them you're ready.

MUSIC CAN BE HEARD AS JACKIE & JACK LEAVE LAURIE'S BEDROOM

Author's Note: Tanya Roberts, who played Midge on T70S, was added to Charlie's Angels in 1980.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Again, Don't own, Don't get paid, Don't copy. You know the drill. Had to borrow a song from Jimmy Page & Robert Plant. Please let me know what you think of this…..

Chapter 13

Christmas Day

Hyde & Jackie's Wedding

Forman Living Room

LEO SUDDENLY STOPS PLAYING THE ORGAN, JUST AS BETSY REACHES THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS.

Leo:Hey, Hyde & Loud Girl are getting married. I wanna watch the love, man.

Fez:I have done that many times myself, Leo.

FEZ & LEO WALK AWAY FROM THE ORGAN; BOB GOES OVER TO THE TAPE RECORDER AND PRESSES PLAY. PACHABEL'S CANON IN D BEGINS.

BETSY TOSSES THE ROSE PETALS DOWN THE MAKESHIFT AISLE THAT ENDS NEAR THE STEREO AND THE DOORS TO THE KITCHEN.

HYDE, ERIC & PASTOR RON ENTER THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOORS JUST AS DONNA BEGINS COMING DOWN THE STAIRS, CARRYING A RED ROSE BOUQUET. ERIC SMILES BRIGHTLY AT DONNA, WHO IS BEAMING.

BOB CHANGES TAPES; THE WEDDING MARCH BEGINS

AS JACK & JACKIE COME DOWN THE STAIRS, AN AUDIBLE GASP CAN BE HEARD AMONG THE GUESTS. JACKIE IS POSITIVELY GLOWING AND IS CARRYING A LARGER BOUQUET OF WHITE ROSES. HYDE IS COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY WHEN HE SEES JACKIE.

Eric:(looking at Hyde) Hyde, buddy, you okay? (smirking)

Hyde:(still in awe) she's…she's…..

Eric:yep. (pats him on the shoulder)

JACK AND JACKIE ARRIVE AT THE END OF THE AISE; HYDE IS STILL STANDING THERE WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN AND IS JUST STARING AT JACKIE

Hyde:You are so beautiful

Jackie:Oh, Steven…..

Pastor Ron:Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

Jack:I do.

JACK KISSES JACKIE'S CHEEK AND TAKES JACKIE'S HAND AND PLACES IT IN HYDE'S.

Jackie:(smiling) You okay?

Hyde:I am now.

THEY TURN AND FACE PASTOR RON AS HE BEGINS THE WEDDING CEREMONY

CAMERA DISSOLVES AND SHOWS A NUMBER OF CLIPS OF JACKIE & HYDE THROUGHOUT THE EIGHT SEASONS, INCLUDING PROM, VETERANS DAY, VALENTINES DAY DANCE, CARRYING HER OUT OF THE BASEMENT AND LOCKING THE DOOR, CAMPING, GRADUATION, MAKING OUT IN THE BASEMENT AND EVENTUALLY HYDE PROPOSING TO JACKIE

Pastor Ron:I believe Hyde & Jackie have some words that they want to say to each other.

Jackie:(blinking back tears) Steven. We've come so far. Both of us. And look at us here today. In front of our family and friends. Getting married. I thought it mattered, when, where and how you proposed, according to my fantasy. But those were dreams of a child. The woman before you today knows what is real. Our love is real. Being together is real. You are the most important thing to me, and you always will be. We begin the rest of our lives today. Together. Building a life, a home, a family. Everything we've ever wanted, but never really had. That's the real dream. You and me. And our children. You've made my life complete. I hope that I can bring you as much happiness as you have given to me. I love you. Forever.

Hyde:Jackie…..This isn't my strong point, so I got this from a song. But I know I couldn't have said it any better if I had written this myself. (takes a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket)

_If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.  
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.  
Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.  
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.  
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,  
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.  
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.  
And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,  
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.  
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness...I'm glad.  
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.  
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me_

Hyde:(barely audible) I love you

Pastor Ron:After pledging their love to each other, and the exchanging of rings, by the authority invested in me, by the State of Wisconsin, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

HYDE GENTLY GRABS JACKIE AND PLACES A DELICATE KISS ON HER LIPS, WHICH QUICKLY BECOMES PASSIONATE, WHILE EVERYONE APPLAUDS.

Red:Okay, we're not consummating this marriage in my living room.

EVERYONE LAUGHS AND STARTS TO CONGRATULATE MR & MRS HYDE

THE RECEPTION BEGINS IN FULL SWING. AFTER HYDE TAKES OFF JACKIE'S GARTER (WITH HIS TEETH) THE SINGLE MEN GATHER FOR THE GARTER TOSS, WITH ERIC IN THE MIDDLE. RIGHT BEFORE HYDE TOSSES IT, THEY ALL MOVE AWAY, SO HYDE SNAPS IT RIGHT IN ERIC'S FACE

WB.:(pulling Hyde & Jackie aside) Listen you two, I didn't know how to wrap this, so (hands them a card)

Hyde:(opens the card and is confused) I don't understand…

W.B.:That's my realtor's card. She's been instructed to show you whatever houses you two like and your present is….whatever meets your (pauses, looks at Hyde) okay, your wife's standards. With the baby coming, you two are going to have enough expenses. You don't need to be scrounging around saving for a down payment and you can't raise a baby in a basement. So, here you go.

Jackie:Oh my god…

Hyde:W.B., this is too much.

W.B.Nonsense. If anything, it's not enough. I can't make it up to you, what you went through as a kid. But I can make sure that the rest of your life is as good as it can be.

Jackie:Steven…..(unsure of what to do)

Hyde:(looks at Jackie, looks at her stomach, and looks at W.B.) Thanks…Dad.

W.B.(hugs Hyde) You're welcome son, just don't tell your sister. Who knows how many times I'm going to have to do this for her. More than once, and she's going to have to rent! (Jackie gives W.B. a kiss on the cheek)

JACKIE PREPARES TO TOSS HER BOUQUET; EVERYONE REALIZES THAT THE ONLY SINGLE WOMEN THERE ARE DONNA AND BROOKE. JACKIE TOSSES THE BOUQUET, WHICH AFTER THEY JUMP FOR IT, MYSTERIOUSLY LANDS IN FENTON'S ARMS.

Red:Mrs. Hyde, Mr. Loud One, Kitty & I would like to talk to you in the kitchen for a minute.

THEY GO INTO THE KITCHEN

Kitty:W.B. told us the wonderful news. How exciting for you both!

Red:And for me too…I'm finally getting some of you kids out of my house.

Kitty:(gives Red a death glare) Anyway, it's not a house, but we wanted to do something special for you two. (hands Jackie an envelope.)

Jackie:Two airline tickets to Hawaii!! (hands the tickets to Hyde)

Red:This might be your only chance to go…babies can throw a monkey wrench in plans sometimes.

Kitty:Not that we wouldn't baby-sit anytime. Because we would.

Red:(seriously) Enjoy your honeymoon, kids. Hope you're as happy as Kitty and I have been.

RED EXTENDS HIS HAND TO HYDE. HYDE WALKS RIGHT PAST IT AND HUGS RED, WHO'S TRYING DESPERATELY NOT TO CRY. JACKIE HUGS KITTY AND THEN GOES OVER TO RED AND KISSES HIM. MEANWHILE, HYDE GOES OVER TO KITTY.

Kitty:(crying) I couldn't love you more if I had given birth to you myself.

Hyde:(nods, trying not to get emotional)

Jackie:We love you both, so much. Thank you. For everything (looks at Hyde and takes his hand, tightly. She tries to lighten the mood) Now, you'll still be around to help us, you know, get settled and plan for the baby. I have to work on that whole butt thing before the baby comes.

Kitty:Oh, of course. And you do have to get over that butt thing, dear. The strangest things come out of a baby. (They head back to the living room)

Red:Don't worry son. (puts his arm around Hyde) You're welcome here any time to escape the hormones. Jackie's and Kitty's. (Hyde nods; they walk back into the living room)

IT'S NOW DARK OUTSIDE. THE WEDDING DECORATIONS ARE STILL MIXED UP WITH THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. THE FURNITURE HAS BEEN MOVED BACK. CHRISTMAS DINNER HAS BEEN EATEN. CHRISTMAS WRAPPING PAPER IS MIXED UP WITH WEDDING WRAPPING PAPER ON THE FLOOR. HYDE & JACKIE JUST CUT THEIR WEDDING CAKE IN THE DEN, WHICH REMNANTS OF ARE STILL IN HYDE'S SIDEBURNS FROM WHERE JACKIE SMASHED IT IN HIS FACE.

Eric:Everyone…attention…everyone. Donna?

Donna:(loudly) Hey, listen up people.

Eric:Thank you Donna. I'd like to propose a toast. (He's had a few)

EVERYONE TAKES A GLASS

Eric:When Hyde & Jackie first got together, I didn't think it was a good idea.

Red:Eric, shut up!

Eric:It's okay Dad. Even though YOU never sent ME to Hawaii.

Donna:(warning) Eric…

Eric:But seeing you two here today. (pauses) I was wrong. We all were. The orphan boy has a wife. A home. And all of us. (looks around at everyone) A family. I wish you everlasting happiness. To Hyde & Jackie.

EVERYONE RAISES THEIR GLASSES; HYDE & JACKIE KISS

W.B.Well, I hate to say this, but I think I better get Jack back soon…Snow's coming down again.

Jack:Yeah. We better go.

W.B.You two have a good honeymoon. Call me if you need anything.

Jackie:Thank you. (she gives him a kiss, Hyde gives him a hug)

Jack:Come see me when you get back?

Jackie:Of course.

Hyde:We both will. (puts his arm around Jackie)

Jack:(smiles as he & W.B. walk towards the front door) It's too bad your mother…

W.B.(opening the door) What the hell???

Hyde:(All four of them are standing in the doorway) See Jack, we did hear from Pam. She sent tequila. And apparently Kelso & Fez found the bottle. And they shared with Bob and Leo. And now, all of Point Place has been treated to drunken, naked snow angels.

WE CAN HEAR THE SOUNDS OF DRUNKEN MISCHIEF COMING FROM THE FRONT YARD

Jack:W.B…..

W.B.I hear ya. Let's get out of here before the cops show up.

Jack:Goodbye kitten (kisses Jackie. Jack & W.B. quickly leave)

HYDE & JACKIE SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. JACKIE JUST SHAKES HER HEAD IN DISBELIEF. HYDE GETS A MISCHIEVOUS SMIRK ON HIS FACE.

Hyde:Hey Red, I think there's one more present for you outside

Red:(disgusted) Holy crap! That's not even how you write Merry Christmas in snow… You spelled it wrong….dumbasses!

EVERYONE WHO IS LEFT IS NOW PEEKING OUT THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW. WE CAN ALSO HEAR SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE.

The song from Hyde's vows is "Thank You" by Led Zeppelin. It can be found on Led Zeppelin II.

Just one more chapter (unless it goes too long) and then the epilogue left!!!!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Scene 1

TWO WEEKS AFTER THE WEDDING

Forman Living Room

Eric:Come on Donna, get a move on. We've got to get back to Madison before it snows again.

Donna:Eric, it's Wisconsin. It's winter. What'd you expect?

Eric:The only thing worse than driving in it, is shoveling it. And if we don't get moving, Red will make me shovel the driveway. Again.

Donna:Okay, this is it. (She comes downstairs and puts her suitcase down; Eric tries to pick it up, but he can't.) Still the scrawny neighbor boy, huh.

Eric:What'd you do, take lessons from the Jackie Burkhart school of packing?

Hyde:That'd be Hyde. The Jackie HYDE school of packing!

Eric & Donna:You're back!

EVERYONE EXCHANGES HUGS

Donna:How was the honeymoon?

Jackie:Wonderful. (smiles at Hyde, who gives her a quick kiss)

Hyde:Hey Forman, help me carry this luggage downstairs. (Hyde & Eric go down to the basement)

SPLIT SCREEN

Donna:(pulling Jackie closer to her) So, how was it?

Jackie:Oh, Donna it was amazing. Steven is so romantic.

Donna:Romantic?

Jackie:(searching for the right word) Creative?

Donna:Creative I'd buy.

HYDE & ERIC ARE THE BOTTOM SCREEN

Eric:So, how was it? (drops bags behind the couch)

Hyde:(drops bags next to his chair) Exhausting. (just smiles)

Eric:(nods) Oh, I suppose Jackie dragged you around to all those volcano spots.

Hyde:Oh, there were some explosions. (he sits down in his chair and just keeps smiling at Eric…who doesn't get it)

Eric:(confused) Natural Parks?

Hyde:(sighs at the memory) I'm not sure we saw anything that wasn't au natural.

Eric:(starting to get the idea) Pearl Harbor memorial?

Hyde:(laughing at Eric, who's only now starting to catch on) Nothing half-staffed about this honeymoon.

Eric:You're sick…..

Hyde:Marriage, Forman. (putting his feet up) Highly recommended.

JACKIE & DONNA COME DOWNSTAIRS

Jackie:What are you two doing?

Hyde:Just filling Forman in on our little trip….(kisses her and pulls her on his lap)

Jackie:STEVEN, did you tell him about the nude beach?

Hyde:(laughs) No, but you can now.

Eric:(nervous) Ok, we have to get back to Madison now. Donna has to change her courses and we have to get back early before all she can take is basket weaving for crooked lawyers.

Hyde:Go get 'em big D.

Donna:See you guys in a few weeks.

Jackie:Hey, where's Bob? Is he going back with you?

Donna:No, he said he had a surprise to work on…and that we'd see him later.

ERIC & DONNA LEAVE FOR MADISON

Hyde:Huh. All alone in the basement. What are the odds of that? (devilish smile)

THEY START MAKING OUT AND MOVE ON TO THE COUCH. FEZ COMES OUT FROM INSIDE THE SHOWER

Fez:Now that you are married, the thrill of watching is gone.

FEZ WALKS OUT OF THE BASEMENT DOOR; HYDE AND JACKIE ARE CONFUSED FOR A MOMENT….AND THEN GO BACK TO MAKING OUT.

Scene 2

Forman Kitchen

RED, KITTY, HYDE & JACKIE ARE SITTING AROUND THE TABLE EATING DINNER

Kitty:oh Red, sometime we have to go to Hawaii. This just sounds so fabulous.

Red:Already been there.

Kitty:(exasperated) War does not count as a vacation stop!

BOB ENTERS THROUGH THE SIDE DOOR

Bob:Hey there, Hi there, Ho there.

Red:Didn't you leave with Eric & Donna?

Bob:Nope. Had a surprise for everyone to work on.

Kitty:A surprise?

Hyde:Yeah, Donna mentioned something about that.

Bob:Well, with Donna going to law school, I didn't think that being so far away would be a good idea. She might get pregnant, or something. So, I'm selling the business and moving back to Point Place. But Fez got a sublease for his apartment, so I'm looking for a place to stay.

Hyde:(joking) Ooh, I know.

Red:(knowing where he's going with this) No you don't.

Hyde:Why don't you move into the basement? Jackie & I will be moving out when we find a house, and that way, Mrs. Forman won't be so lonely with us gone.

Kitty:I think that's a WONDERFUL idea, don't you Red.

Red:Just Damn Wonderful…(glares at Hyde, who is laughing with Jackie)

A/N:Ok, just a bit of fun fluff to transition into the final chapter before the epilogue. Otherwise, it wouldn't have made as much sense.

The final chapter: Jackie gives birth. Let the fun begin.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

SCENE 1

Point Place, Wisconsin

Hyde & Jackie's Living Room

July 29, 1981

3 AM

HYDE STARTS TO COME DOWN THE STAIRS OF THE TWO LEVEL HOME THAT WAS RECENTLY PURCHASED TO SEE THAT THE TELEVISION IS ON IN THE LIVING ROOM. HE DOESN'T NOTICE WHAT'S ON. AS HE GETS CLOSER TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS, HE CAN SEE THAT HIS VERY PREGNANT WIFE, JACKIE BURKHART HYDE IS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE HERSELF COMFORTABLE IN THE RECLYNER CHAIR.

Hyde:Baby, what are you doing?

Jackie:Trying to sleep

Hyde:In a Lazyboy?

Jackie:(frustrated) Why not, I'm a lazygirl…

Hyde:Don't you think you'd sleep better upstairs?

Jackie:NO! I have heartburn, indigestion, I have to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes if I'm lucky and I can barely get out of bed anyway and I'm sorry if I'm crabby, but I don't think this baby is ever coming out (gets up out of the chair and pouts).

Hyde:Want me to sleep down here with you?

Jackie:(still pouting) In the chair?

Hyde:If you want.

Jackie:That sounds good.

HYDE COMES OVER AND HOLDS JACKIE. SHE FINALLY RELAXES AND PUTS HER HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER AND CLOSES HER EYES.

Hyde:Come on, let's go to sleep. You're exhausted.

Jackie:Shh. I'm sleeping right here.

HYDE SMILES, KISSES THE TOP OF HER HEAD AND PULLS HER CLOSER TO HIM

SCENE 2

HYDE LIVING ROOM

5 am

JACKIE IS ATTEMPTING TO GET OUT OF THE RECLYNER, WITHOUT WAKING HYDE. SHE IS UNSUCCESSFUL AND HYDE FLIPS OVER THE SIDE OF THE CHAIR AND FALLS ON THE FLOOR

Hyde:Jackie…..what are you doing now

Jackie:I'm sorry sweetie…I'm watching the Royal Wedding and I was missing the picture from the angle on the tv. She's going to be a princess. And she even has a glass coach!

Hyde:Oh God….I forgot about this thing being on. It's every husband's nightmare. (flips the channels to Jackie's dismay) It's on every channel! I'm going to get something to eat.

Jackie:My indigestion never went away (Hyde's going into the kitchen. He comes back through the door in a second holding a spoon and a quart of ice cream and looks very concerned)

Hyde:(concerned) How often are you having this indigestion?

Jackie:(Smiles, and is very pleased that he figured it out) About every twenty minutes. Maybe a little quicker.

Hyde:I'm calling Mrs. Forman. This might be it.

SCENE 3

HYDE LIVING ROOM

5:10 AM

Hyde:Okay, Mrs. Forman's calling the hospital and she & Red are going to meet us there. She's sending Eric & Donna over here to help us.

Jackie:With what?

Hyde:(starting to freak out) I'm not sure….get new carpet from where I'm wearing it out at, pacing?

Jackie:Pudding Pop, it's okay. It's all going to be okay.

Hyde:Why did she have to ask me about a mucus plug? I was fine before that.

Jackie:Steven, giving birth is not exactly clean & pretty

AT THAT VERY MOMENT, JACKIE'S WATER BREAKS, SENDING BOTH HYDE & JACKIE INTO A SLIGHT PANIC.

Hyde:You can say that again.

SCENE 3

HYDE LIVING ROOM; ERIC & DONNA HAVE JUST ARRIVED

5:30 AM

Jackie:Steven, I'm not leaving in the middle of watching this wedding

Hyde:You wanna have the baby in our living room? That's a spot I don't think Mrs. Forman is going to know how to get out of the carpet.

Jackie:I want to see a real life fairy tale. And I'm scared. This will make me feel better.

Hyde:The real life fairy tale is you & me babe, and that little person who's decided to crash our party. (exasperated) Jackie, I'm fairly sure that if it's on all our tv channels, it'll be on at the hospital. And you need to go to the hospital. I won't lose you and the baby. (he swallows hard) I can't.

Jackie:Me neither. Okay, but hurry. The ceremony hasn't started yet and I think this baby wants to see the vows. (Jackie starts having another contraction)

Hyde:It'll be okay. I promise.

Jackie:Spoken like a man who's never had a contraction.

Hyde:True, but I have loved you for a few years.

Jackie:(through gritted teeth) Now is not the time for jokes.

(Hyde thinks about saying something else, but seeing the look on Jackie's face – he doesn't)

Hyde:(quickly) I love you

Jackie:You better…..Owwwww

Donna:Eric, get the car.

Eric:Shouldn't I boil some water or something?

Hyde:Idiot boy, go get the car!

Jackie:MOVE!

ERIC RUNS OUTSIDE TO START THE VISTA CRUISER, BUT IS SO NERVOUS HE TAKES OFF FOR THE HOSPITAL, LEAVING JACKIE, HYDE & DONNA STANDING IN THE DOORWAY.

Donna:Dillhole!

Hyde:Tell me, he didn't just do what I think he did

Donna:Oh, he did….and he's the new king. Kelso wasn't even this bad.

Hyde:Yeah, and he's not gonna be around long enough to make this worse!

Jackie:(sarcastically) I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm having a baby here!

HYDE TOSSES DONNA THE KEYS TO THE EL CAMINO AND SHE RUNS OUT THE DOOR WITH JACKIE'S BAG, WITH HYDE & JACKIE CLOSE BEHIND

SCENE 4

POINT PLACE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM.

5:45 AM

KITTY AND RED ARE WAITING THERE, PACING THE FLOOR, WHEN ERIC COMES IN…ALONE.

Kitty:Eric, where are Jackie & Steven? Where's Donna?

Eric:They're…in the car….(realizing what he has done) they were supposed to be in the car?

Red:Oh for the love of God!

Kitty:YOU FORGOT THEM?!!!!

Eric:Maybe we can just change my birth certificate to read "dumbass" as long as we're here

A FEW MOMENTS PASS AND JACKIE, HYDE & DONNA COME INTO THE EMERGENCY ROOM ENTRANCE. JACKIE IS IN A WHEELCHAIR

Eric:(relieved) Oh, great! You guys made it.

Hyde:No thanks to you, Mario Andretti Forman. (reaches for him)

Hyde:Just breathe baby. (strokes her cheek and hold her hand)

Donna:Yes, and now I'm going to get a refill on my birth control pills because I'm never getting pregnant and getting left by you! (she storms off by Red & Kitty)

Eric:Well…but we can still do it, right?

TWO HOURS LATER

Nurse:Kitty, I think this one's belongs to you (nurse comes around the corner pushing Hyde in a wheelchair, because he fainted and has a bandage on his forehead)

Kitty:Steven…are you okay?

Eric:Jackie hit you & knocked you out cold?

Hyde:No, she didn't hit me

Donna:Kicked you out of the room?

Hyde:No, she didn't kick me out.

Red:(smirking) I know what did it….episiotomies, right?

Hyde:(paranoid) DON'T SAY THAT WORD! That's just….(tries to swallow)

Kitty:Honey, that's a procedure to benefit Jackie during the delivery. It's better than if she just ripped…

Eric:(squeaky & shocked) RIPPED!

Donna:Come here you squeamish moron & I'll explain it to you, while your parents give Hyde a pep talk. Let's go to the cafeteria.

Eric:Can we get a pizza instead? That episi word got me hungry for a pizza

Donna:I don't think you're still going to think that after I explain what it means to you.

DONNA & ERIC LEAVE THE WAITING ROOM; HYDE STILL LOOKS PALE

Kitty:Listen sweetie, some men wouldn't even be in there with their wives. You deserve a lot of credit for doing this. There's nothing to be ashamed of that you fainted.

Hyde:(zen like) I didn't faint. I was trying to distract Jackie from the pain.

Red:Nice try. But as the father of two, I can tell that you fainted.

Kitty:Red…not helping!

Hyde:Besides, Jackie's the one that deserves the credit.

Red:Why don't you go tell her that.

HYDE LOOKS AT KITTY WHO NODS, AND HYDE GETS OUT OF THE CHAIR AND TAKES OFF RUNNING BACK DOWN THE HALL TO JACKIE

SCENE 5

POINT PLACE HOSPITAL

FAST FOOD CIRCLE

2:45 PM

Eric:(eating from a bucket of chicken) So, what you're telling me is that, he left the greatest sequel of all time, to do a different movie?

W.B.:(snacking on fries) Yeah, that's why they had to put him in the carbon freeze. The shooting schedules overlapped.

Eric:I don't believe you.

W.B.:(moves on to cake) Wouldn't you want to work with the guy who directed Jaws?

Eric:Yeah, but…an archeologist, in the 1930's. Who's going to watch it?

Bob:(eating a burger) Lots of people. You'd be surprised. And he gets to make out with the chick from Animal House.

Eric:I don't know why he didn't just stay with Empire?

Donna:(slurping a shake) Hey, Yoda, will you shut it! I can't listen to this anymore.

Kitty:(to Eric) She's just worried about Jackie. You really don't look like Yoda. (steals some fries)

MEANWHILE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM

Hyde:(gently) Jackie, come on you can do this

Jackie:(exhausted) No, I can't

Hyde:Yes, you can

Jackie:I'm too tired

Hyde:(encouraging) I know you're tired, but it's time to give the baby some air

Jackie:You push

Hyde:(getting an idea) What'd you think I'm doing

Jackie:(confused) Huh

Hyde:(smirking) You're not pushing, so I'm pushing

Jackie:(getting some energy back) No, I'm pushing

Hyde:(smiling, at seeing her get more determined) I don't think so

Jackie:(getting really riled up) I don't think so? smart ass. When you start passing a watermelon out the opening the size of a grapefruit, we'll talk.

Nurse:Remind me to give you two the name of my lawyer. If this kid is anything like you, you're going to need it.

Hyde:We got that covered. She's the red headed godmother in the waiting room.

Doctor:Okay, Jackie, just one more push

Hyde:Come on baby, I'll buy you jewelry

Jackie:EEEOOOOOWWWWWWWWW

Doctor:It's a girl!!!!!!!

Baby:(loud crying)WWWAAAAAAAAAHHH

Hyde:(freaking out) Is she okay? Is the baby okay? Is my wife okay?

Jackie:(crying) Steven, I'm exhausted, but I'm fine.

Nurse:They're just taking your daughter over to get her cleaned up a bit.

Hyde:(still freaking out) Why is she crying so much?

Jackie:To announce her arrival as the first child of Steven & Jackie Hyde

Hyde:(raises an eyebrow) You wanna do this again?

Jackie:(soothingly) As long as we get to practice the conception part, a lot. Absolutely. You forget sometimes how much I love you.

Hyde:(calming down) I never forget that. But I'm always in awe of it. You're amazing.

Jackie:(smugly) Thank you.

Hyde:No. (he leans in really close to Jackie's ear) Thank you. (he kisses Jackie)

Jackie:(knowing what he's thinking about) And none of us are going anywhere…I love you Steven.

Hyde:(kisses Jackie) I know. I'm not going anywhere either….You two are stuck with me. (kisses Jackie again)

Jackie:(smiles) We can live with that.

Nurse:Here she is….6 lbs, 5 oz, with a head of black hair, with little curls everywhere

NURSE HANDS OVER THE BABY TO JACKIE. JACKIE AND HYDE ARE JUST IN AWE OF THE TINY LITTLE GIRL WRAPPED UP IN A PINK BLANKET.

Jackie:Oh Steven, she's so beautiful

Hyde:(pauses) Takes after her mother

Jackie:(touched and starts crying again) Our family

Hyde:Our family. (swallows hard and purses his lips a bit to maintain his composure)

Jackie:You want to hold her

Hyde:Huh?...yeah.

JACKIE CAREFULLY HANDS THEIR DAUGHTER TO HYDE. HE STARES AT HER IN DISBELIEF. JACKIE IS AMUSED & TOUCHED BY THE SCENE OF THE FATHER & DAUGHTER. JUST THEN, THE BABY OPENS HER TINY EYES AND LOOKS AT HER DAD.

Hyde:Hey….Hi baby. I'm your daddy.

Jackie:Look at those eyes. No mistaking the fact she's got your eyes.

Hyde:(to the baby) We'll have to get you some tiny sunglasses to keep people from knowing what you're thinking.

JACKIE LAUGHS. HYDE COMES OVER CLOSER SO THAT THE BABY IS IN BETWEEN HIM AND JACKIE

Hyde:(to Jackie) I love you. (looks at his daughter) I love you both.

Jackie:You hear that little one…your daddy's turning into a softie

Hyde:When it comes to you two, maybe I am.

Nurse:Okay lovebirds, do we have a name for this little girl?

Hyde & Jackie:Katherine

Hyde:Katherine Janna Hyde

Nurse:alright then. I'm sorry, but we have to put her in the nursery for a few moments while we get you back to your room.

Hyde:(protectively) Where's the nursery?

Jackie:He might sleep out side of it, you know.

Nurse:Got it. I'll bring her right back to you, as soon as you're settled back in your room.

Jackie:(reluctantly) right back to us?

Nurse:(soothingly) Right back to you. (she takes the baby from the proud parents and leaves the delivery room)

Jackie:Maybe you should go tell everyone

Hyde:Yeah, maybe. (he just strokes her damp hair)

Jackie:I'll be okay. Kat & I will both be okay.

Hyde:I know. (he still doesn't want to leave her side)

Doctor:Okay, just a few stitches and we're done here

Hyde:(quickly jumps up) Yeah, I'll go tell everyone. (Kisses Jackie & runs out of the room)

POINT PLACE WAITING ROOM

HYDE ENTERS WITH A GRIN ON HIS FACE LIKE HE'S BEEN IN EIGHT CIRCLES.

Eric:I'm guessing that you have some news, judging by the smile on your face

Hyde:Oh, yeah

Donna:Well….

Hyde:(proudly) It's a girl

Everyone:Aww, Congratulations!

W.B.:How's Jackie

Hyde:She's good. She's amazing. She wants another one. (smiles)

Donna:Let's get the three of you home first

Hyde:Thanks you guys. Kat will be in the nursery soon. Or there'll be hell to pay.

Kitty:Kat?

Hyde:Katherine Janna Hyde…after you Mrs. Forman. Janna is a combo of Jackie & Donna. (smirks at Eric) Don't worry, we'll name the next one Erica.

Kitty:Oh, that is just the sweetest thing…(goes and starts smothering Hyde with hugs and kisses)

Red:Okay Kitty, lets go take a peek in the nursery and then go home. I think we all need a nap. Some more than others.

RED & KITTY LEAVE

W.B.:Congratulations son. (hugs Hyde) Bob & I are going off to buy out a toy store for my granddaughter. I love girls.

Bob:So do I. Don't forget to get some of those ribbon thingys too for her hair.

(Everyone looks at Bob strangely)

Hyde:Whatever

W.B. & BOB LEAVE

Hyde:You guys wanna take a peek at my daughter?

Donna:In a second, I'm going to call Fez & Brooke to tell them the good news. (gives Hyde a hug and leaves to make the calls)

Eric:You okay, buddy.

Hyde:Yeah. Wait until you see her.

Eric:I can't believe you're a father.

Hyde:(laughs) It's strange, but it feels right.

Eric:Who would have thought you'd turn out like this.

Hyde:You guys.

Eric:(laughs & puts his arm on Hyde's shoulder) What a long, strange trip it's been.

Hyde:Yeah, except now Red's just glad we made it out of the basement. Let's go.

ERIC & HYDE LEAVE THE WAITING ROOM TOGETHER TO GO SEE HYDE'S DAUGHTER IN THE NURSERY.

SCREEN DISSOLVES TO FLASHBACKS FROM ALL EIGHT SEASONS. BACKGROUND MUSIC IS "TRUCKIN'" BY THE GRATEFUL DEAD.

FLASHBACK SCENES INCLUDE:

Pilot

That Disco Episode

Eric & Donna's first kiss

Career Day

Prom Night

Water Tower

Hyde running through his old house when Kitty & Red tell him he's staying with them

Garage Sale

Jackie & Kelso

Laurie & Kelso

Hyde teaching Jackie zen

Fight from "Cat Fight Club"

Eric pulling down Donna's pants playing basketball

Jackie Bags Hyde

Each boy falling off the water tower

Prank Day

Promise Ring

Donna dating Casey

Going to California

Hot Dog

Black Dog

Babe I'm gonna leave you

You Shook Me

Nobody's Fault but mine

Immigrant Song

Celebration Day

Final Scene is the gang (plus one tiny baby) sitting in the basement watching tv. Together. Forever.


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you all so much for your reviews! I treasure them and hope you enjoyed this.

Happy Holidays…


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